The Upside of Fear

I had the pleasure of attending a business luncheon this week where the keynote speaker was a man named Weldon Long. He shared his journey from being a 9th-grad dropout and felon to becoming a wealthy, successful entrepreneur (Inc. 5000 company in less than 5 years.) 

He writes about how fear and the thoughts you have in your head can completely alter your ability to succeed and overcome obstacles. So, in order to be successful, you must rewire your brain and start putting in thoughts of success and accomplishment, rather than negativity and fear. 

Specifically, he discusses the concept that thoughts are the beginning of everything and they need to be adjusted in order to change your actions. 

Thoughts ---> Emotions ---> Actions ---> Results

If you think fearful, negative, and defeating thoughts, your emotions and actions will following, results in a negative or less-than-stellar outcome. Likewise, if you change your thoughts to ones of success and confidence, you will feel successful and your actions will reflect that. 

While serving the last 7 of his 13-year sentence, he wrote out a list of positive thoughts and goals ("I am a man of honor and integrity" and "I have a beautiful home in the mountains.") and simply recited them to himself every single day. By the time he got out of prison, he had rewired his brain to equip himself with the tools necessary to become a successful person. 

He started a business and turned it into a multi-million dollar venture in less than 5 years. He got custody of his son, and became an amazing father. He bought a house in the mountains and another in Maui. He wrote a book, followed by another one. And he became the man of integrity he wanted to be. He accomplished all of these things at 45 years old, after spending much of his life imprisoned or homeless, with no belongings and no education. He is remarkable. 

And he doesn't stand there and tell you some canned answer or sell you a line of crap about "if he can do it, so can you." He backs it up with psychology and science. He backs it up with his story and similar journeys of many others. And he knows that not everyone has the same goals. Some would like to run a marathon; some would like to be a great husband and father; others want to be successful entrepreneurs. 

Whatever your goals may be, you can use his technique to rewire your thoughts and better accomplish them!

After leaving the luncheon, I went home and wrote out my list of affirmations. I wrote out my goals and the thoughts I want to put into my head to change my personal course. I taped them to my mirror and read them aloud again this morning. I might share them with you another time, but for now, I encourage you to listen to one of the short videos on Weldon Long's website and see if you are as inspired by his story as I was. 

{Disclaimer: These thoughts are 100% my own. I was in no way compensated or otherwise induced to write this review. I am sharing a story that inspired me and doing so without compulsion or inducement.}

I'm a sucker for "free," but shouldn't be.

Each week, I spend a few hours (3-4) browsing my favorite blogs and websites. As part of that practice, I am inundated with giveaways of all sorts of products. Clothing, food, jewelry, household goods, gift cards, trips, and a whole lot more. I love free crap (who doesn't?) And while it is tempting to take the time to enter every single one, I recently realized there are quite a few reasons why I shouldn't. I'm sharing those with you:

1. Time is Money
Spending a few hours per week reading blogs is justified by networking and building friendships. Spending another few hours on my own blog has even more benefits, but spending another hour or two entering giveaways (which usually requires links to here and there, 'liking' blogs on FB, and 'pinning' the giveaway) doesn't have a very high payoff. Sure, it does if I win, but that's going to happen rarely, if at all. Which ultimately means that I spent a few hours of my time each week doing something that has little benefit to me or my business - and I didn't even get a pair of shoes or juicy celeb gossip out of the deal!

2. Clutter is Bad
Winning items from giveaways is great, until it comes to cleaning and organizing and you realize you have three crock pots. Now, unless you're a caterer, you probably don't need 3 crock pots. Nor do you need 300 nail polishes or 15 bubble necklaces. You can't possibly use them all and storing them takes up space and collects dust!
Of course, in order to develop a real clutter problem from winning giveaway swag, you'd have to enter all of them all the time (and win most.) The point remains, if you wouldn't pay for the item to take up space in your house, why should you let it linger for free?

3. Too many distractions
These giveaways also create clutter on my computer. Adding new blogs to my reader or 'liking' one on Facebook just creates more blogs I'm sifting through later. And I can't tell you how often I go through my pins to clear out closed giveaways and other "junk" as a result of entering various contests. All this does is distract me from more valuable internet time (see #1!)

4.  The Vicious cycle
Finally, if I'm wasting all this time and taking up room in my house and computer, I am probably "spending" more than the item is worth anyway. It simply creates a cycle of time and effort that may or not have the benefit of a cool new item in my mailbox.

At the end of the day, I will continue to enter giveaways. And host them and provide you links on my Facebook page to my favorites each week. Afterall, there are certain items that are totally worth the effort and you just might have a chance to win something you legitimately need. Just make sure you don't get too lured in by the idea of free stuff that  you defeat the purpose of "free" to begin with! 

My Interview for the Successful Military Wife

Two weeks ago, I had the sheer pleasure of having a Skype date with the ever-so-lovely Kaye Putnam. She is the brain (and personality) behind The Successful Military Wife and she also advises business owners (with special focus on military spouse owners) on marketing their businesses for portability. 

{courtesy of Kaye}

The fact that military spouses need help in business and careers is not new - this is a fight many of our leaders (and us) have been fighting for years. The way Kaye brings the information to the table, however, is quite remarkable. One of the best pieces of advice I've garnered from her site is that you can't just be "good" at business, you have a be a good and likable person too! 

In fact, Kaye recently ran a three-part article discussing ways to be remarkably liked so people flock to your business.

{courtesy of Kaye}

And really, if you think about it, that makes perfect sense. If you are likable, interesting, charming, and even funny, you are going to make more friends, networking easier, and build a stronger base of support around you. Those are the components necessary to successful business. 

When I first ran across her site, I felt compelled to connect with Kaye. I have always had a passion for encouraging spouses to pursue their education and career dreams and I knew I wanted to help her in any way I could. She emailed me back (almost instantly) and asked for an interview. I was thrilled. 

And then I was nervous. What made me an expert in business? Certainly not the fact that I am slowly making my way through starting my own. Nor the fact that I went to law school and focused on business law. Those are just pieces of paper. Nevertheless, the Skype interview went swimingly (it helps when the interviewer is so delightful and puts you at ease immediately!) 

Even after she excitedly sent me the link to the video, followed by "It's live" and a smiley-face emoticon, I was still nervous. How am I going to come off on this video? Will people think I know what the heck I'm talking about? Did I have anything in my teeth? 

Please head over to The Successful Military Wife and let me know what you think. (I don't have anything in my teeth, I already checked!) Also make sure you take the time to check out the other amazing features on her site. Thank you, Kaye, for spear-heading an amazing business and for inviting me to be a part of it!

 I hope that we can help other women to find the balance between pursuing their dreams and supporting their spouse all while navigating this crazy military life!

Continuing the pursuit of happiness

In January, I forced myself to admit a my feelings of inadequacy, monotony, and overall unhappiness with my life. Perhaps I was overreacting. I was certainly highly emotional. Yet, at the time, it was true and it was how I was feeling. And after putting those words on paper, seeing them in black-and-white, and talking them out with Al, I was forced to make a change. 

One of those changes is re-evaluating my goals and the things that make me happy. 

I've spent my entire life focusing on my career. I've invested time, a ridiculous amount of money, many sleepless nights, and even more tears, in pursuing my education and starting my career. I always believed that a large part of my identity, my heart, and my happiness was based on my education and work.

This week, however, I was faced with a big decision. Continue on my current path, pursuing a job only partially related to my field, that I only sort-of love, with higher pay and great opportunity - or, walk away and take an attorney job for less pay simply because it's what I really love to do.

Everyone I know would say to follow your dreams. I always told myself that if I didn't love what I do, it isn't worth doing. And while that may seem like an easy decision to some, it really isn't. After all, my passion and career options aren't the only considerations...

My current job allows for more flexibility (and more money) for starting a family. It is also keying me in to many networking groups and volunteer opportunities. And if I truly give it everything I've got, I can use it as a way to propel me into starting my own law practice down the road. (Say, when our debts are paid down and we've started our family.)

I also have to consider that Al wants to transition out the Army (at least active duty) and pursue his own career. He wants to start a business and finish his degree. And in order to support that transition, I need to be the primary bread-winner. I need to financially support our household when we leave military life behind for "the real world." 

So I reached the fork in the road and for a brief moment the hustle of the world slowed and my choice was clear. With teary eyes, I told Al, "I need to stick with my current path. It's hard to remember that while this job might not be my first choice or my whole passion, supporting our family is."

My priorities have changed and that just might be okay.

10-minute project: My business card organizer

Last weekend, I had a few minutes while I was waiting for a few computer updates, so I decided to tackle one of my little organization projects I had lying around. For the longest time, I've carried this pink leather business card holder, overflowing with cards I'd collected for over 6 years, in addition to a stack of my own. A month ago, it got so full that I couldn't even snap it shut. I knew a new system was in order. 

I just so happened to have an old coupon book sitting unused and decided that would be the perfect organizer for the business cards. First, I separated my cards from the other business cards and placed mine back in the pink holder. It makes sense that those cards will remain in my purse since you never know when you need to give someone a card. 

The remaining cards were divided into categories: 

1) House: my realtor, mortgage broker, plumber, and other necessary cards I need for home maintenance. 

2) Personal: my hair stylist, nail salon, and other cards that are personal to my interests. 

3) Business: my branch manager, colleagues, and important business contacts. 

4) Volunteer: my many Army contacts and other organizations. 

5) Family & Friends: for all those people you love that you want to help promote! 

I made quick labels and into the sections they went. The file has so much room to grow and allows me to easily find a contact when I need to make a call or schedule an appointment. It also accounts for all the odd-shaped or differently sized cards that people produce these days. Finally, it leaves my smaller holder free to hold all my personal business cards for on-the-go use. 

Linked up...

I took 10-minutes and on-hand supplies and remedied a disorganized mess. These are my favorite projects: a quick and simple solution that makes daily life just a little easier!

Time

August is almost over. Again.

Four years ago, I started dating the man that is now my wonderful husband. Three years ago, I was starting law school and preparing to say goodbye to Al as he left for Iraq. Two years ago, I was a month from Al's return to the states and would soon after be engaged. Last year, I was leaving Ft. Bliss, TX to return to Minnesota and finish my last year of law school.

August has always been a turning point for me. It has always commemorated big changes: school, travel, work and the beginning of fall! This year, as August comes to an end, I find myself reflective. I am starting a new job and we are weeks from closing on our first home. Once again, August marks big change in my life and I am grateful.

I am grateful that, as time ticks by - as seasons change and years pass - I am blessed with a great life. Sometimes I wish I could speed things up, to get through something difficult or to fast-forward to a special day. Other times, I want to slam the brakes and slow life down a bit. I want to stop an enjoy the moment. 

That is how I feel right now. I want to step outside and breath in the crisp, mountain air. I want to hug my husband and just be still. For a moment. For a couple moments. Alas, time has a funny way of moving along no matter what. August will always come and go. I can only hope that each August milestone is as good as this one!

Lounging or Lazy?

Lately, I have had a problem. I am spending a lot of time sitting around my house doing nothing. Arguably, I am actually doing a lot: work, blogging, Pinteresting ideas for the new house (which is important, despite what my husband says!), and other computer related things. I always make sure to clean up the kitchen, make the bed, and tidy up around the house. If errands need doing, I do them. The problem is that my new job only gets me out of the house one day per week in order to meet my boss at the office and go over my progress. I will try to schedule another set of appointments on a second day so I am forced out of the house then too. Other than that, I'm inside doing various things and it isn't until Al comes home after work that I realize I've been pent up all day with no human interaction.  Which means I'm obnoxious and drive him crazy! 

Then, this week, he made a few comments along the lines of: "so what did you do today?" and "why didn't you get X done?" He's not trying to be rude, and he knows that I am actually getting something done throughout the day, but they tend to be things he can't see. That bothers him. He wants tangible, visible progress. He wants more concrete completion of projects. 

I get that. I really do. But sometimes it's nice to sit on the couch with my computer and plug through spreadsheets, organization binders and work projects. On the other hand, I completely hate the feeling of laziness that comes after two days of doing that. And I certainly don't want Al to think that I'm being a bum - ever. 

We are canceling our cable on Monday (I begged him to wait until after Army Wives on Sunday!) We are a month from moving and are going to be doing a lot of packing and finishing paperwork on the home. I have a life insurance class next week and things will start to ramp up with work once I take that exam. Finally, I have a job interview Monday night to coach gymnastics a couple of nights per week. 

I think things are, finally, starting to fill up the calendar and feel like a "normal" routine. That should get me out of the house, doing things Al can actually see (such as a little extra paycheck), and it will get some human interaction so I am a more bearable person in the evenings! I'm definitely ready to stop lounging around (or being lazy, whatever you want to call it) and start embracing a full calendar and diverse batch of activities!

Let Go and Let God

I leave for Denver early tomorrow for Day 1 of the bar exam. I am staying at a hotel a few blocks from the exam center so I can relax and get a good night sleep for Day 2 on Wednesday. 


I have experienced severe lethargy and complete panic. I have cried (for hours, maybe even days) and I have been a neglectful wife, daughter and friend. After months of class and weeks of prep-work there are still topics I know nothing about. (Seriously. WTH is the difference between holder and bearer paper when dealing with commercial paper liability? It's OK...I don't know either.) But, there are some topics that I feel really good about. Better yet, I feel prepared for the time-management aspect, which is a challenge in itself.  


And I'm not the only one with a rock in my stomach and little doubt in my heart. In fact, I have many friends back in Minnesota experiencing those same feelings. Even more, hundreds of people have gone before us. Some have passed. Others have magnificently failed. But, regardless of that, most of them are great lawyers and even more are totally fab people.


I am packed. I am well-rested and I am as prepared as I could ever be. 
All I can do now is close my eyes, let go, and let God.

That time I cried after a workout

About two weeks ago, Al and I had a conversation that went something like this:

"Holy crap! what does that number say?" Me, while standing on the scale

"Umm...167." Al

"Oh. Well, that's not good." Me

"Why's that?" Al

"well that's the largest number I've ever seen on a scale. And, well, look at this..." Me, as I look in the mirror, pinching various parts of my body.

Truth is, I haven't been happy with my body for a while. I realized the other day that I haven't legitimately been to a gym and worked out in over A YEAR. I have gone once or twice to boxing class or yoga or some other fitness class, but they were few and far between. 

And while my weight is not that much higher than my previous weight, my body has significantly changed. I've lost definition in my glutes and thighs and even my legs (which have always been toned and slender.) My tummy is flabby and my arms are weak. 

For me, it's not even an image thing as much as a capability thing - I can barely do 5 push-ups right now. FIVE. It's pitiful. 

After watching me poke and prod and frown at myself in the mirror for 20 minutes, Al came over, wrapped his arms around my waist and said: 

"I think you're sexy. I always will. But if you're not feeling good about yourself, I can help with that."

I looked at him and asked what he meant.

"I can train you. You know, in the gym. If you want."

I agreed. I knew it would be brutal. He trains soldiers, after all. And he happens to be a workout rock star himself. This week presented the perfect opportunity to start the training regimen because Al was off for a long weekend. On Friday, we donned our sweats and tennies and walked down to the little gym at our apartment complex. 30 minutes of cardio and a bottle and a half of water later, and Al was all ready with a circuit for us. 

Let me tell you...

I have not worked that hard in my entire life. Al was right there the entire time to push me to finish each set of reps (which he did firmly, but lovingly - I would imagine in a much different tone than he uses for his guys.) He pushed me until absolute muscle failure; until I could not do one more sit-up, one more push-up, one more bicep curl. I was completely fatigued and wanted to throw up. And then, for a brief moment, I couldn't breathe.

As I laid down on the floor to pull breath into my lungs, I cried. I was embarrassed that my body had shut down on me. I was worried Al would think I was weak or sad. Those thoughts only made me cry more. As the tears mixed with the sweat and rolled down my face, I finally caught my breath. 

Later, I told Al I was embarrassed that I broke down like that.

Once again, being the wonderfully supportive man he is, he said exactly what I needed:

"Are you kidding? You did a workout that half my guys can't do. And you pushed yourself beyond YOUR limit. That's amazing!"

"Perhaps, but I bet none of your guys cry afterwards."

"You'd be surprised" he replied with a smile as he kissed my forehead. He then pulled away and said, "Gross. You need a shower."

Yoga Heals

Yesterday, I read this great article on Healthy Homefront (original article on Huffington Post) about a wounded Veteran, who, because of his inability to walk, had gained a lot of weight and became extremely unhealthy. Then, in his 50's, he discovered a special kind of yoga: DDP yoga. 

I have done yoga before and can certainly appreciate it's recreational and fitness qualities, but I have never felt as though it had "healing" capabilities. Perhaps that is my own negative feelings regarding "alternative" medicine and holistic healing. Perhaps it is my own inability to meditate and incorporate the other components of yoga mentality into my yoga workout. 

After watching the video and reading Arthur's story, I came to a conclusion: yoga can heal. It might not work for me, but it sure worked for him. Not only did he lose weight, but doing so allowed him to walk again - something the doctor's said he would likely never do! I assume that a large portion of this change came from the weight loss. It is a lot easier to complete the requisite physical therapy when you weigh less. It also seems, however, that his healing came from the fact that yoga gave him the right head (and heart) to heal properly and start walking again.I am in awe not only of his commitment and dedication to the process, but with his results! Amazing.

If nothing else, the story is inspiring and uplifting!

Read his story and use his technique for any healing you might be looking for.

Today, I Graduate!

Holy crap. I can't believe this day is here. 

My sister is doing my hair and makeup and my mother is steaming my graduation gown.

I have a pair of hot pink peep toes sitting on the dresser and my jewelery is laid out next to it.

Soon we will leave for the ceremony, where I will receive my law school diploma. Eek!

My trip home has been delightful and I loved seeing my family and friends once again. I am feeling a little spoiled this weekend - with attention and praise - and am humbled by all the love! I'm all smiles.

Shortly after the ceremony, I will be whisked away to the airport to fly back to Colorado so I can start my class tomorrow. Then real-life starts again.

Until then, I am going to live briefly in the glow of this event!

Another Organization Post: The Storage Closet

We are lucky to have a lot of storage space in this apartment. After getting all the smaller projects done last week while Al was in the field, I decided to recruit his help for the bigger project: the entry-way storage closet.

Luckily, with the two of us, and a lot of discretion, we were able to really overhaul the whole thing. Using bins and boxes we already owned (I bought nothing to complete this project!) we got it squared away in a few hours! 

1: I pulled all the miscellaneous plastic drawers we hadn't used elsewhere. I didn't care if they matched, but I was aware of the various sizes for their different uses. This way, you can pull out the drawer and find table linens, tools, paint supplies, etc... because they're all clearly labeled.

2: Plastic shelving instantly creates more space for all the boxes and bins (Lowes - previously owned)

3: Plastic file cabinet stores all our important paperwork (Great for small office spaces or when you can't afford an actual file cabinet!) (Target - previously owned)

Then, I pulled out my labels and made sure to label each box so everything was easily accessible. 

4: Labels make everything easy to find! (Walmart)

This closet will also serve as our additional office storage and bookshelf. 

The final product! An organized (albeit, not very attractive) storage closet with all of our things easy to find when you need them! Whew! 

Organizing Heaven

Al left for the field last week, so I was left to my own devices. It was actually really easy to fill my time since I still had plenty of boxes to unpack and things to put away. Oh, and those final edits on both of my papers. I devised a plan to spend my days writing (as though it was my job) and then come home/stop at dinner time. I spent my evenings watching all my favorite shows and organizing. 

For this post, I want to focus on what I did to organize the entire apartment, from plan to implementation and share with you the results.

Desk:

My desk is in the living room, so I need to keep it tidy and organized at all times. Luckily, I had a lot of the items I needed to make that happen.

The plan: 

- Create storage for often-used office supplies

- Create storage for paperwork, mail, etc...

- Organize school work and books

- Add a few decor elements

The results: 

1: Ikea boxes (black) - Hold important receipts, computer stuff, etc... 
2: 3-drawer - Holds scrapbooking and regularly used craft supplies 
3: Box from Target - Holds cards & stationary (DIY here) 
Middle photo: My cute glitter piggy bank (Old Navy) and my current reads
4: Decorate containers (Target $1 section) - Holds pens, scissors and other office supplies 
5: 3-sheld desk organizer - Holds folders and paperwork in three categories: personal, work/school & blogging

Pantry:

We have a very small pantry and limited cupboard space in the kitchen, so it was important that I utilized every single inch of it and that everything was super-accessible.

The plan:

- Create extra shelves to add storage space

- Develop layout to make daily items easily accessible

- Make space for Soda Stream

- Store cleaning supplies separate from food items

- Create storage for spices and cooking supplies

The results: 

1: Top shelf holds taller storage items, the Soda Stream, and a few smaller appliances  / Cereal containers (Dollar Store), Wire shelves (Target)
2: Pasta and other side / Wire basket (Target)
3: Baskets for go-to snacks for lunches / Baskets (Dollar Store)
4: Another shelf used to create and extra level of storage for cans and other stackables
5: Another wire basket holds napkins and paperware
6: Plastic bag holder (I DIY'd from a plastic shoe box for easy storage!) (Dollar Store)
7: Cleaning supplies and other kitchen stuff stored under the sink
The last picture: using leftover organizers, I created storage for spices and other cooking supplies.

Bathroom and Linen Closet:

There is actually quite a bit of space for storage in our bathroom and linen closet, so the biggest challenge was organizing items in such a way so we can keep it tidy. I have a slight hoarding tendency when it comes to travel size toiletries (for example: I could probably wash my hair for years without buying more shampoo) and we like to buy some soaps and supplies in bulk.

The plan: 

- Create storage for meds and first aid

- Store cleaning supplies in one place

- Set up drawers and dividers for travel toiletries

- Create system for feminine products (hidden, but accessible)

The results:

 

1: Cloth bins store various toiletries, by category, with less used ones in the back (Dollar Store)
2: Plastic basket for smaller items (Dollar store)
3: Dark wicker basket holds my hair products (Target)
4: Plastic drawer holds medical and first aid supplies for easy pull-out access (Target)
(The more-used items are in the medicine cabinet on the wall)
5: Larger stackables and less used items and large drawer holds my hoarded travel sizes
6: Bucket holds bathroom cleaning supplies
7: Another drawer holds misc. supplies that we need infrequently
8: Wicker basket for hair tools 
9: Small close-able container next to the toilet for feminine products (Dollar Store)

My closet:

So, this was the hardest part for me. Not because I'm hurting for closet space, but because I'm hurting for the power to deny myself pretty things. I just have a lot of clothes! I tried to use discretion and get rid of any items I hadn't worn or didn't see myself wearing and I am focused on not hanging on to pieces that are too "faddy" or unwearable for work. The biggest challenge was creating space for all the folded clothes, like tanks and workout pants and jeans. 

The plan: 

- Buy hanging bar to double hanging space in one closet

- Separate fall/winter shoes and put them in storage

- Create storage for folded clothes and for underthings

- Create storage for accessories and extras

The results:

1: Wicker baskets for headbands, scarves, hats, etc...
2: More wicker baskets hold belts, bracelets and other accessories
3: Shoe organizer holds my daily wear shoes for summer (Unseen, to the right, containers hold my less-worn summer shoes and dressy heels. Winter shoes are in storage)
4: Soft-side closet shelves (it spins!) holds tons of accessories and shoes (Bed, Bath & Beyond)
5: Folding jewelry organizer holds earrings and daintier jewels (Target)
6: Belt hook holds wider and basic belts
7: Two-drawer container holds buttons and misc. items for quick-fixes
8: Soft-side bins hold intimates, socks, etc...
9: Plastic drawers, tucked away, hold workout clothes, tanks, sweatshirts and less-used items
10: Closet-doubler instantly provides extra hanging space in any closet! (Bed, Bath & Beyond)

TOTAL COST = $65
**Most items I had from before and simply reorganized or used them in new ways. 

I still need to overhaul the front entry closet, but it is very large and going to require an entire day of work to get it really clean and functional. I might even rope Al into helping me with that one - I'll probably have to bribe him with beer or something!

I'm sure things will change here and there as I decide better or more efficient ways of storing things, but until then, I am happy with the results. 

What do you think? Should I supplement my income by being a professional organizer?

30 by 30

I turn 28 today! 

Can I just take a minute and scream into my pillow?!

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*

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Ok. I'm better now.

Having made a huge transition in my life out of school and (hopefully) into the work force and finally moving in with Al in Colorado, things have been a little chaotic. In all the good ways, of course. 


Have you ever read the What Every Women Should Know Before 30 article? I'm pleased to say that I've already satisfied everything on that list. Of course, that's not all there is to life and with my birthday looming, I have been reflecting on my life recently. I sat down and re-evaluated my goals. 

I have always maintained a "bucket list" of sorts, but I wanted to revamp that list. I have a list of 12 goals I want to focus on this year, but they are not so much large goals as daily improvements I want to strive for throughout the year. I think, ultimately, it is good to have goals that address short-term or small life improvements; mid-term goals; and longer-term life goals. 

Here's my list:

30 by 30

Begin date: May 5, 2012

End date: May 5, 2014

1. Pass the Bar & Get a Job

2. Join Colorado Bar Association

3. Get Pregnant

4. Buy a new car

5. Pay off at least 1/3 of my school loans

6. Lose 15 pounds

7. Learn to salsa dance

8. Go camping (overnight)

9. Tour the Coors Brewery

10. Take snowboarding lessons

11. See a Rockies game at Coors Field

12. See MNSU (my alma mater) play Colorado College in D1 Hockey

13. Read 20 books from my list

14. Go on a honeymoon (finally!)

15. Put together a Shutterfly wedding album

16. Renew my First Aid/CPR certification

17. Get my conceal & carry/license to carry

18. Organize and label all our important family documents

19. Attend the 2013 Milblog Conference

20. Build bedroom bench

21. Eat at the "10 Best" restaurants in Co. Springs 

22. Get another tattoo

23. Take a cruise

24. Participate in the Denver Warrior Dash

25. Sew pillow cases for the living room pillows

26. Purchase a domain and redesign my blog

27. Ride a mechanical bull

28. Visit the Wizard of Oz museum in Kansas

29. Go to a winery and help make my own wine

30. Take a cooking class

Many of them focus on things we can do in Colorado and experiences I'd like to have during our time here. Others are just things I've been meaning to try or that are on the bigger list. I edited the Bucket List tab above to reflect these 30 by 30 goals and the larger bucket list. I might add to this as I go as new things pique my interest (I'm shooting for 100 on the big list) and as some priorities change others will drop away. I will update the list as I cross things off as well!


I can't wait to get started...in the meantime, I would love a piece of cheesecake. And maybe a glass of whiskey.

Saturday Share

Glad to be back after my Saturday Share hiatus! My ankle injury and the copious amounts of homework in front of me were hindering my ability to scour the web for fabulous links to share with you. But I'm back, and I have twice as many links for you this week!

READ: 1000 Awesome Things 

(and try not to smile at every single one of them!)


LEARN: How to live, and not merely exist by Marc


DO: Volunteer in your area via Military OneSource


COOK: Ham & Cheddar Frittata (yum!)


ORGANIZE: Your meal planning & coupons in one binder via IHeartOrganizing


MAKE: A quilt out of your old t-shirts
(Perfect way to get the hubby to finally let go!)


ADD: A floating "sharebar" to your website or blog via Mashable


WATCH: This video and try not to laugh your butt off!


WIN: A $500 gift card for Old Navy stores (incl. Banana Republic, Gap and more!)

Adulthood and Avoiding Negative People

I've come to a realization recently: I am too darn old to surround myself with people who are negative, mean, or otherwise poisonous personalities. 

While this applies to people in general, I am finding it is a trait most commonly found in women. Prior to law school I had a very small group of female friends. In fact 75% of my friends were men. I simply get along with men better for a multitude of reasons. Certainly, my closest friends are women and always have been, but my extended circle was usually men. As I've gotten older (and married) I have more great women in my life than I do men, and ultimately, my group of friends (real, true, accountable & fun) is small.

I am OK with that. Because most people suck.

To understand more, take a look at this article. The article talks about how the majority of people are either contributors, people who contribute positively the their environment, or contaminators, people who contaminate it. When I say most people suck, I am referring to contaminators. I have found that two of the groups I am most actively involved in are chock full of contaminators: law school and the military (spouses.) 

In law school you develop friendships with a group of people pretty early on and you tend to stay connected to those people through the entire three-year process. The main reason for that is how insulated you are in law school, especially your first year. Add to that the fact that law students are high-strung, sleep-deprived, caffeinated, over-achievers who are competing (literally) for grades and jobs and it can be a toxic environment. 

Military life has its own set of problems. For one, it is a rare time where people from all over the country, from many backgrounds and life experiences, are in one group and again, often insulated from others. Mix in the difficulties of the job and lifestyle (and the roller-coaster of emotions that accompanies it) and it can be difficult to navigate those relationships. 

I recognized the effect this negativity was having on my life in the past 6 months. I would read a Facebook status and scowl, then spend 30 minutes scouring other posts, comments and past notes for more information and then spend another 1 hour stewing over the whole thing internally. This particular example is someone I've never even met in real life - and her complaining had affected almost TWO HOURS of my day. Cutting out that type of negativity was pretty easy, I went through Facebook and promptly deleted anyone that I didn't know (or didn't like) and did the same thing with a few blogs.

It is a lot harder, however, to cut out real-life friends when they start contaminating your environment. For one, many times these friends have contributed some positive things to your friendship. It can also be hard when you are in contact with that person for uncontrollable reasons (i.e. you work together, attend classes together, have mutual friends or your husband's are in the same unit.) 

My feelings on this really came to a head last night. I was supposed to meet a large group of ladies out for cocktails after class. My close friends were among them, but the vast majority were mere acquaintances. I ended up not attending, mostly because my foot was sore and I had a lot of homework. As I drove home, I started feeling guilty.
And then it hit me. I didn't want to be there. I had no desire to hang out with those girls (with the exception of a few) and I had no reason to feel guilty. I made a decision to go home, be relaxed and productive rather than have a few cocktails with people I don't know or like. Why would I ever feel bad about that?  My "epiphany" led me to think more about how I should choose my friends - if I don't enjoy them, if they're not contributors - then they are not really worth my time. 

Now, in order to fully purge negative people from my life, I have to be brutally honest. I am a negative person, sometimes. I have bad days. I complain. I gossip. I am even mean on occasion. I have to recognize that if I truly want to address this matter head-on. I have to commit to change my own negative tendencies - after all, if I act in a negative way, then I am just poisoning the people around me. The people I actually care about.

So, for this to truly matter in my life, I have to make sure that, as much as possible, I am a contributor. And then surround myself with contributors whenever I can. 
'Cause those contaminators just ain't worth my time! :)