I've been thinking a lot about wedding rings. This was prompted from recent conversations Al and I have about him wearing a wedding band. I want him to wear one, he doesn't want to.
I'm not asking for matching rings, or a gaudy gold ring with diamonds all around it. Just a simple, lightweight titanium band he'll barely know is there.
To be fair, his reasons are pure.
(1) The daily tasks of his job put the ring and him at risk for various reasons. I know a lot of soldiers will wear their ring on their dog-tags or on a key fob while working in order to keep the ring safe. And I'm fine with that. My step-father works with machinery quite a bit and removes his ring when he does as a safety precaution. But he wears it the rest of the time.
(2) Al doesn't like jewelry. He's a guys-guy and barely wears a watch (when he doesn't have to) let alone jewelry. I personally don't see a wedding band as being the same thing as a gold chain necklace or other article of jewelry. Mostly though, I feel like he should want to "tough it out" and wear his band.
But why does this matter to me so much?
It's not a trust issue. I'm not that traditional.
I needed to dig deeper to find out why this was a battle I wanted to pick.
Most of us know the modern reasons for wearing them: as a sign of eternal commitment. But historically rings mean so much more than that.
Read this article (really, read the whole thing, it's really nice!)
I'm seriously almost teary-eyed just reading the article.
My favorite paragraph is here:
The ring is of course a circle and this was the symbol of eternity for the
Egyptians as well as many other ancient cultures. It had no beginning and no
end, like time. It returned to itself, like life; and the shape was worshipped
in the form of the Sun and the Moon. The hole in the center of the ring is not
just space either; it is important in its own right as the symbol of the
gateway, or door; leading to things and events both known and unknown
Egyptians as well as many other ancient cultures. It had no beginning and no
end, like time. It returned to itself, like life; and the shape was worshipped
in the form of the Sun and the Moon. The hole in the center of the ring is not
just space either; it is important in its own right as the symbol of the
gateway, or door; leading to things and events both known and unknown
The article says that it's worn on the left hand ring finger because that contains the artery that flows directly to the heart.
My heart is his. His is mine.
I want to wear my ring so every morning when I wake up I am reminded of the everlasting commitment I am making and the window of possibilities that our love can bring.
And with these rings, we can constantly be reminded how unshakable and unyielding that love is. We can be reminded that our future brings endless opportunity for success and happiness. That is what my ring means to me.
And maybe, just maybe, he'll see it that way too.
5 comments:
I sent Spouse a titanium ring when he was deployed in Afghanistan and he loves it! He didn't bring one b/c he thought no one would be wearing one or be allowed to, but most married Marines still wore theirs. He is definitely not a jewelery guy, but I think when you can see how much something means to the person you love, you make compromises.
OccDoc couldn't wait to where his ring. I often caught him wearing it around the house before we got married. He always claimed to be 'getting used to it.' I wanted to get him a (cheaper) ring for deployment, but he wanted his 'real' one. I told him if he wrecks it over there we're upgrading to platinum when he gets back. I'm really rough on my jewelry, so we opted for white gold for the first few years to make sure I don't destroy it. I do understand the taking the ring off for work, since I have to every time I go to work. It's a pain in the ass, but you get used to it.
My husband doesn't wear his ring a lot. His ring is tungsten and the only thing that can cut it is some kind of diamond something or other. He wears it every once in a while, but it's mostly on the dog tags of his that I have. Right now, while he's deployed, I have the ring.
I always, always wear my ring, but it doesn't bother me that he doesn't wear his. I understand his reasoning.
I've actually never had a wedding ring, and I haven't worn my engagement ring for awhile now. Although, it's funny because I have old retirees at the place I volunteer trying to hook me up with their grandsons. LOL!
I think I'd be super pissed if Z didn't wear his ring, hah. Mainly because he threw such a hissy about having to have two rings: a tungsten one for work/working out/deploying and a gold with diamonds one for everything else. Ha! He is such a diva :)
Tungsten is awesome because it doesn't scratch, but if an accident happened, it can be cut off (I believe it just shatters). Z loves his!! And, it was super cheap (only like $75?).
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