This word has been a major contention in recent conversations with Al.
The conversation started after recalling a ladies' night to him over the phone. I mentioned a silly comment a girlfriend of mine made where she basically said I had to dance to "All the Single Ladies" with them because, well, "he hadn't put a ring on it" yet.
Al didn't find this funny. He is, by far, the least jealous person I know. He is also understanding of the fact that I want to have a good time, rather then sit at home watching the clock until he comes home. Still, I know how hard it must be for him to think of me out dancing, drinking and hanging out with friends when he's thousands of miles away.
(Thank you, baby, for your continued patience and trust.)
I'm not single. I certainly don't act like I am, nor do I want to.
Nevertheless, legally I am considered single.
When filling out tax forms, any documents at school and really anything else that asks for a marital status, I select the "single" option. It sucks every time I do. Even more, I know that until Al and I are married, I am virtually non-existent as far as the Army is concerned. Sure, there are steps that can (and have, in our case) be taken to ensure that I am properly notified and "taken care of" should anything terrible happen. However, I am just not afforded the same recognition as an Army wife is.
Considering these factors, and the increase in pay, housing, health care, etc...that the military provides for servicemen and their families it is no wonder that many couples marry prior to deployments. Getting those legal and financial benefits is a huge privilege and certainly makes life a little easier. We chose not to do that. We didn't want our time line to be dictated by anything other than our own feelings and our own ideas. As a result, we are in our current situation.
Really though, I don't mind.
Someday in the near future I'll have a ring on my finger and I'll have the recognition of society and Army that I am no longer "single." Nothing will be different in my heart or in my head. The commitment doesn't change. The love doesn't either.
Baby, with or without the title, the legal recognition, or the ring I am still continuously devoted and committed to you. None of those things make that more true. And even if the Army doesn't know it, I am fully and entirely supportive of you and everything you do.
I love you.
(Now if this isn't a reason to comment on my blog...)
2 comments:
Well I'm glad your feelings on the situation haven't changed and you're still glad you're doing the marriage thing on your terms.
Realistically, most people in committed relationships still have to choose the single option and cringe at the reminder that legally, they have no say in their lover's life if anything were to happen. Random car accident here or Iraqi rebellion over there, until the documents are signed, you don't belong to each other.
He'll be back safe and sound before you know it and not a day too soon!
I think that the Army should acknowledge a union that has been tested with time as well. I could just as easily marry a stranger and split the cash which makes marriage (as far as the Army goes) null anyway. If they did this, soldiers would have a chance to live together and get to know their significant others better before making their union legal and much harder to get out of(uglier too in most cases) During my short 4 years that I have been in the Army I have seen many couples go through this process, only to move in together after they got married and find out that they were not as perfect for eachother as they thought they were. Unfortunately my opinion as far as the Army is concerned is lost before it escapes my lips.
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