Nearing 30

In exactly ONE WEEK I am going to be 30 years old. 

I can honestly say that this is no where near as scary as I thought I would be. I have a great career, a strong marriage, a beautiful little girl, and a home in a place I'm really learning to love. Overall, I can't complain at all about where my life is at as I enter my 30th year of life. I hope to accomplish even more as decade number three begins. For now, I'm going to go take care of a fussy baby and leave you with this sweet, fun list of 35 things every stylish woman should have in her 30's. 

One Month

Today, Charlotte is one month old.

She is already one month old.

It's amazing how much she has already grown and changed in those four weeks. She surprises me with something new every single day and keeps us on our toes.

I'm also back to work already, which has provided its own set of challenges. Al works early mornings, home in time for me to get to the office by 8 am, then I come home and take over so he can do school work and attend evening classes. It's a complete whirlwind and incredibly draining on both of us.

But this face...

It's so worth it.

Happy One-Month, little lady. Thank you for enriching my life and filling my heart. You have taught me patience and resolve and shown me that love goes deeper than I ever thought. You make me a better person and your father a better man and we're both so blessed to continue this adventure with you.

By the way, for your birthday, I got you a set of size 1 diapers! Time to move up, darling!

One Week

One week ago, my daughter entered my life in a way that both softened my entire soul and ran over it like a freight train. She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and I created her. My body formed her into being which ended in the most humbling physical test of my entire life.

I've never considered myself a weak person. Not physically and certainly not mentally or emotionally. But childbirth has a funny way of reminding you that you are completely and utterly human. And at the same time making you feel like a superhero. 

And then, without any warning at all (and with even less sleep), you're flung immediately into parenthood and served another giant dose of humility on a silver platter. All of a sudden, you are feeding, bathing, changing, and nurturing this small human life - while trying to heal and sleep and keep yourself afloat. 

Then you're battling the roller coaster of emotions that come along with the hormone changes and the realness of it all. You love this tiny person more than you've ever loved a single thing in your life. You love it so much it physically hurts. But you're tired. And sore. And emotionally drained. 

Someone says a small thing, even a sweet thing, and you cry. You try to breastfeed (which hurts SO bad at first) and you sob uncontrollably into your infant's face. You look at your husband (who now sees you as this incomparable mix of beauty and power) and find yourself so happy to have him by your side. Everything is funny. Everything is terrifying and yet so exciting. Nothing is sad and yet you can't stop crying. 

The most perfect reward is resting on your chest or in your arms, loving you even though she hasn't learned how. That child is so amazing and so worth it. 

This last week has felt like one of the longest weeks of my entire life. I have been pushed to the brink in every possible way and brought back to reality only by the quiet sounds of my daughter as she reaches for my face. I have been tested, and so far I have passed. I have made it through the week, each day easier than before. She gets healthier and more beautiful every second and my husband and I are stronger and more in love because of this whole experience. And as I continue to amaze myself with my own strength and resilience, I realize that I can totally do this again next week.