Proof I'm Dating a Soldier

In case I had forgotten, or needed a gentle reminder, the following conversation occurred today:

(A little background: I was preparing an argument for my International Law class where my team represented a fake country debating a fake treaty and some issues of religious contentions and vandalism among countries, etc...)

Me: It seems like the law is completely against me on this

Al: How so?

(bless his heart for even pretending to be interested in my classes...)

Me: Well, because {insert long legal explanation that would bore ya'll to tears}

Al: What is the goal?

Me: To say that we shouldn't have to pay damages because it was not an insurgent of our country exclusively that created the damage.

Al: You should just go to war

Thanks, soldier. I'll be sure to bring that constructive advice to my group meeting this afternoon and see what they say. Love him!

Miscellany Monday

So, I've never linked up to this before, but I need something exciting in my Monday, so I thought I'd give it a whirl.

1. Good Morning, Sunshine

I was up extra early this morning (before 6 AM) and surprisingly I was NOT homicidal. I HATE mornings and I especially hate Monday mornings. I got a little over 6 hours of sleep (an improvement) and was able to re-read some of my class materials, casually drink my coffee, pack a lunch and even talk to Al for a few minutes. It makes mornings MUCH more enjoyable when I can take my time getting out the door. This is my new morning goal.

2. On Your Mark

I guess it's on MY mark, since I'm the one responsible for knowing all the answers in my Constitutional Law class. Our professor uses an "on call" system and assigns 5-6 students to be ready to answer questions as he wishes to ask them. This means I have to be especially prepared and read the materially more thoroughly then I normally would. The good part about going this early in the semester, however, is that I'm done and won't have to be "on call" again!

3. Oh, my aching calves

Between the run and stairs I did on Friday; walking the Fair for 6 hours on Saturday; dancing at the concert on Saturday night; and golfing yesterday...my body aches. I am reminded just how much every time I sit down long enough for my muscles to relax, because the moment I get up, I'm met with a healthy dose of (painful) reality. This reminds me, I need to go to the gym...

4. The Dr. Is In

This summer, I attempted to rid pop (soda, for you non-Northerners) from my life. It's not good for my body, my tummy or my teeth. I drink Diet, but that's actually worse for you in many ways. I was reasonably successful with my soda-hiatus, but since school has ramped back up - all self-restraint flew out the window and Diet Dr. Pepper will resume it's place as my side-kick.

5. Serious. Shoe. Fetish.

It's fall. Which means I have a whole new wishlist of shoes. Here are some I really like:

Fall Moccasins (found here)

Camel-colored round-toe pumps (to view bigger, see here)

Flat, combat-style boots (found here and here)

Great wool and leather peep-toe pumps, for work (found here)

And these, simply because they're fantastic.

Maybe for the ball, depending on my dress...

Happy Monday, ya'll!

Lessons from 50 Years

Rather then get into extreme detail about my family-weekend, I would rather share with you the many wonderful things I have learned from my grandparents. They've been married for 50 stinkin' years so I think they know a thing or two about a thing or two.

First, a quick synopsis of the weekend:

Friday night we have steak dinner at my aunt & uncle's house.

Saturday we spent the day at the Minnesota State Fair.

(For those of you who aren't lucky enough to derive from the wonderful state of Minnesota, the state fair happens to be the longest running, largest and BEST state fair in the country. I'm not making it up.)

This included the Tim McGraw concert.

This morning, Sunday, we went golfing.

Now, my grandparents were not living in the US when I was born, although they were both born and raised here. In fact, they finally moved here from Germany 1994 when my Opa (grandpa in German) retired from his job as a teacher and principal of a military high-school (who I am sure some of you are familiar with, as it is still a fully-functioning Army/Air Force base today.) He held this job for 30 years, although 3 were spent on a base in Bermuda and 3 were spent on a base in Japan (where my aunt was born) before they settled in Germany.

My grandmother was a loving, supportive and dutiful wife, in many ways living the life of a military wife. She was lucky to move less often and never sent her husband to war, but the role was much the same.

For my 26 years of life, they have been my shining example of love, marriage and family. After many years, they still hug and kiss each other. Oma calls Opa "dad" when we're all together as a family.

My Oma is loud, high-strung, opinionated (wonder where I get it?) and a true matriarch. She sparkles in so many ways. She is also the most serving, generous and loving person you can find on this planet. She was a small-town, farm-kid; a cheerleader; a young bride; and a grandma at 43 (which she still tells the story that in order to solidify the fact that just because she was a young grandma did NOT mean she couldn't wear her leather pants of the plane to meet me!)

My Opa is quiet, reserved, charming and ridiculously smart. He is patient and kind; funny and equally generous. I am also fairly certain he would lay down in a road for any one in our family. He also grew up in a small town, but got a college degree, and then a Masters. He then spent 2 years in the Army Reserves; married my grandma (after being a teacher at her school for 5 years - but I swear no scandal was involved!) and accepted his position with DODDS.

They are very different, but together they make a good team.

On Friday, when I asked my grandmother what piece of advice she had for anyone thinking of getting married - or advice rather, for making a marriage work for 50 years, she replied with this:

(This is actually something she told me when I was 14 or so, but at the time I was too immature to really understand. Now that I am, and I am in a relationship with someone I want to marry, this advice has been my "romance-mantra".)

"It's about mutual respect. Some days, the butterflies won't be there, some days the sex will be awful, some days you might not even like that person very much. But if you respect who they are, what they stand for and how they live their life, all of those other things will fall into place. You have to look at him and respect him as a man, a husband, a father, a friend, a human being and if you do, you will be able to love him forever."

It's so simple and so true.

And when I looked at my grandpa and asked him what his advice was, after 50 long years of marriage, for any newly married couples out there, he looked at me with a smile and said:

"What she said."

Quick Hello

Hey, lovelies!

So, I am going to be MIA for the rest of the weekend. I am spending time with family to celebrate my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary! What an amazing thing to be a part of. I am continually honored to have such an amazing example of love, patience, commitment and family! I will check back in on Sunday and share a couple of amazing stories with you guys, especially what my Opa said when I asked him any advice for people wanting to get married soon. Priceless.

Happy Saturday!

The 2L Rundown

In spite of my recent face-off with the Army, I've had a lot of exciting things going on in my world. Namely, starting my second year of law school.

In fact, this week was such a whirl-wind/crazy-exciting time, that I am just NOW getting to post something other then my anger towards the Army's current ineptitudes.

On the up-side, I think my second year is going to be really great. Here is a run-down of my classes and schedule (not so much because I KNOW you'll find it titillating, but mostly because then when things really ramp up, you'll forgive me when I'm blog-MIA for a few days!)

Mondays:

9 AM - Agencies, Partnerships & LLC's (2hrs)

My professor is Australian and OLD. This will definitely be the hardest class, both because the material is dry and because the professor is hard to focus on. Still, I wanted to take the course because of my interest in business law.

12 PM - Constitutional Law (2hrs)

This is THE class that I wanted to take in law school. My professor is fun and energetic and a great teacher! Plus, who doesn't think the document that makes up the very fabric of our country is interest?

3 PM - Evidence (1hr)

My professor is a Chief Federal Judge and very interesting person. He's also a good professor. This class is basically the process of presenting evidence at a trial, very CSI and Law & Order stuff.

Work 5PM - 9PM

Tuesdays:

Work 9AM - 1PM

2 PM - Public International Law (2hrs)

This professor is super-smart and fun, so I am looking forward to this class. We're going to read treaties and the Geneva convention, etc... It should be a good class.

Lexis Nexis Research Lab Hours (2hrs)

6:30 PM - Family Law (2hrs)

This is another class that I am looking forward because of how incredible the professor is. She is smart and inspiring and even though I DO NOT want anything to do with family law in my career, she makes it interesting. PLUS, it's supposed to be a 3-hour class but she cut an hour off the end and made it online component so we don't have to spend all night in class.

Wednesdays:

9 AM - Agencies (Again, 1hr)

(4-hour break)

To be used for studying, the gym and other lunch-time endeavors.

2 PM - Evidence (Again, 2hrs)

Lexis Nexis Research Lab Hours (2hrs)

Thursdays:

Work 9AM - 5PM

Fridays:

OFF

As you can see, I'm front-loading my week, with terribly busy Monday-Wednesday. But once Thursday hits, I am smooth sailing with a 3-day weekend. Yes, it sucks.

Yes, I planned it this way because I want to be able to head to El Paso or out to the farm on the weekends.

There you have it folks, the unyielding, demanding schedule ahead of me!

Happy Friday!

The Army Never Listens

Despite my loving plea in my last post, the Army has decided to keep Al an extra week.

Mind you, the only thing he's waiting for as of Wednesday next week is a dental exam.

Yep, a dental exam.

Last I checked dental care wasn't vital (and in the situations where it is, those guys can get checked right away.) Futhermore, we have dentists in Minnesota. We even have military dentists in Minnesota. Alas, the Army doesn't really care about these facts.

They apparently also don't care about time management. While they have 800 guys they want to receive said dental exams and only a couple of dentists who can do it, the exams span over 4 days. BUT, this doesn't include all the days of RIT where they have half-days or huge chunks of time in the middle of their day. Explain to me why these times aren't being filled with dental exams?

OK. So I'm totally aware of the need to keep RIT structured and detailed. I'm aware that they want all the guys to go through the same program and there needs to exist consistency in the order of these events. Finally, I also understand the importance of requiring ALL items to be completed before they send these guys on leave for a month.

Blah, blah, blah.

What about the need for the guys to see their families (especially the unmarried ones whose SO's aren't there to go home to?) What about the need for these guys to relax and decompress and de-stress? What about the need for a break from the monotonous structure and formality of the Army?

The final issue in this "keep-my-boyfriend-hostage debacle" is that they won't give him a pass for the 6-day holiday. Yes. Amidst all this vital RIT they go through, they are giving the guys a 6-day holiday for Labor Day. BUT, because of the demand of Al's job (and that the only other guy who can apparently do it is already on leave) he must stay for that weekend.

No exceptions!

(He's pulling all the possible strings he can to change this, but it is unlikely that will happen.)

This puts me at seeing him in two weeks. 15 days.

I guess in the grand scheme of things, 15 days is NOTHING compared to the 281 other days he was gone. 296 days is long time to be away from someone you love; especially someone you love with everything you've got. It's hard and I'm over it.

A Note to the Army

Dear Army,

At times we have a loving and supportive relationship.

You teach and cultivate my man to be a better person; to fight for his country; to help those who cannot, or will not, help themselves. You provide safety and comfort for my nights of sleep; you make me proud during the day time.

There are other times, where you take my man away, often for long periods of time.

You put him in danger; you put him under stress; you make him take care of the hard stuff.

But even this I accept.

I have been patient.

I have been supportive.

I have even been encouraging.

I have encouraged advancement in his career; I have pushed him to continue to give his best to you. I have given my best to you.

Even still, there are times where we seem to disagree.

When it comes to telling time and following a calendar.

When it comes to having a plan and sticking to it.

And when it comes to making sure families come FIRST; especially the families that have stood by through the hard and the ugly and those who have waited for their loved ones to return (especially when there are some who will continue that wait.)

These are times we don't always see eye-to-eye.

So, my dear Army, please listen closely.

I am asking nicely and pleading intently.

PLEASE send my man home to me.

There is no reason to make him wait 5 extra days for a simple dental exam. Not when his family is waiting for his return. Not when all of us (especially ME) who have given so much to you, are waiting patiently.

Please, just let him come home. Then we can get right back to our wonderful, happy relationship.

P.S. Army, you've seen me loving and nice. But this Mil-so is about to get real mean!

Getting to Know You...er...Me!

I don't have much to discuss today, since I am basically spending my entire day reading the assignments that I should have been reading all week. Nonetheless, I wanted to say hello to my lovely blog-world, so I am once again participating in a MannLand5's Getting to Know You Sunday.

Enjoy.

1. If you could host a reality TV show, which one would it be?

I've thought about participating in something like the Amazing Race. I LOVE the idea of all that adventure and travel. But I don't think I'd want to host the show. Perhaps I could host a reality show like Project Runway. I'm not a model, but I always feel like the judges make the wrong decisions!

2. Do you put your seatbelt on before or after you start the car?

Before. Definitely before.

3. Shave or hair removal cream?

Shave. Those hair removal creams don't work. I ended up having to shave anyway because the loofah wasn't coarse enough to sluff off the hair that had been "removed." It was too much work for too little results. I'll do a good, old-fashioned shave any day of the week.

4. What's your favorite feature in a house?

I would say a deck/patio/screen porch. I love the idea of waking up and having my coffee on the chaise in the 3-season porch. And I need a deck to BBQ and be outside.

5. What is your favorite "fall" scent?

Apple cider and fireplace. The wood and apple scents are so exciting, relaxing and special.

6. What TV show are looking most forward to seeing this fall?

I think the new Greek comes out soon. I like that show even though it's silly and campy. Otherwise, I'm interested in the new show they're advertising called "The Defenders." Yes, it's a lawyer show. Yes, I know that's cliche. Overall, I don't watch much TV.

7. Personal shopper or personal chef?

Chef. No brainer. I enjoy the shopping part of my life, but NOT the cooking part. Plus, I really like food!

8. What is the first word that comes to mind when you think of "fall?"

Cider. Boots. Pumpkins. Sweaters. Football.

And for a bonus, if you don't love fall like I do, perhaps these can inspire you:

Pillow Talk

OK...so the "official" pillow talk is over, I have something too funny not to share...

After getting a little emotional that Al was off having fun when I wasn't able to be there, I decided it was silly and petty and he needed time to release stress/vent/get shit-faced.

Before I went to bed, the following text conversation ensued:

Me: Hope you're having fun tonight. Maybe you can actually sleep well for the first time in 9 months. If you need any inspiration, I give you full permission to think of lots of dirty things we can do together when you're home.

Al: Don't worry, I had enough dirty thoughts of you for the last 7 months to last a lifetime.

Me: Well, then it's a good thing we've got a lifetime to try them all out.

Al: Very true, we have a lot to talk about involving that when I get home... Can't wait.

Me: Good things?

Al: Absolutely. And they are looking forward. I'm thinking we should get professional photos taken.

Me: Things like that happen for engagements.

Al: Well, not engagement photos because we're not engaged. Just photos.

Now tell me what he's going to do with professional photos? He's such a silly (and yet oddly romantic and charming) man sometimes. But, he's mine.

Proof

In case you were wondering whether or not Al was happy to have his two combat-booted-feet safely on the ground in Texas, here's the proof:

Why Technology Rocks!

I've been trying to free myself of my technology dependency. The first step was to set up my office downstairs so when I am done studying, blogging, etc... I have to walk away and leave it be. If it's in my room, the two activities just mix too much and I compromise sleep, studying (and both at the wrong times!)

 

This week, of course, my laptop has slept with me. There was simply nothing I could do.

Actually, there was simply nothing I was GOING to do. Until I heard from him, my Vaio was going to be my bed-buddy.

 

But if there was ever a time when I was questioning why I do this and scolding myself for being so silly, last night defeated that argument. I had just laid down and was scrolling through Facebook one last time before closing the window and my FB messenger popped up - From AL!

 

He was able to tell me where he was and when he was going to be back. We messaged for about 10 minutes and he said he would likely be able to call me in the morning with more information.

 

Lo and behold, this morning I FINALLY got to hear his voice - AND, better yet - it's on American soil. They have safely puts boots on the ground in the US. The next step is reintegration so he can get leave and get home to me.

 

So, now that I know he's safe, I can put my computer back in the office and sleep just a little better tonight. And pretty soon I will have the best bed-buddy a girl could ask for!

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

Because of this:

I find myself doing this:

And wanting to do this:

But then I remind myself:

So, to tide me over:

A Honey-Do List

Originally, I planned on getting all the loose ends tied up before Al arrived so he wouldn't have anything to worry about. I want him to spend his first week (AT LEAST) sitting around doing NOTHING and I certainly don't want him thinking about the grass or those shelves or my car.

But the other day (before we lost contact - I still haven't heard anything) he asked me to save those jobs for him. He said that after the first week he's going to be bored and want to "work" on things. So he asked me not to hang my shelves and not to put away all the old electronic equipment in my basement.

Hell, that's certainly a request I can live with! So, I started writing down things he can take care of when he's sitting around waiting for me to get home from class or work:

1. Hang shelves in the bedroom

2. Clean up old electronic/computer equipment - sell or toss

3. Help hang bulletin board in office with painting wire

4. Go through my bins in storage - determine what we'll need when we move in together - sell or toss

5. Hang photos in bedroom

6. Oil Change

(I am taking care of this one today, since it's a bit overdue and I found a coupon for super-cheap. Can you really beat $19.99 for an oil change AND tire rotation? No, you cannot!)

7. Make headboard (I'll buy the fabric, since I can't trust him to do that part. Idea from here.)

8. Car detailing, vacuuming, etc...

9. Mow lawn

10. Clean out garage

I'm sure when I give the list to him it will include things like "give Melissa massage" and "make Melissa's coffee." Ha ha. Oh, and perhaps some dirtier ones too!

I love that my man can't sit still too long and WANTS to make sure all these things are done so I don't have to do them. I love that he likes to take care of me, even though I am VERY VERY bad at letting him. Most of all, I love that he lets me be stubborn about doing things myself until I finally give in and ask for his help, to which he responds with a smile and "yes ma'am!"

My Impending Doom

My mornings have been getting earlier and my days getting a little busier as I gear up to start school again. (What?! So soon, you ask. Yes, my law school starts a whole TWO WEEKS earlier then most colleges, including other law schools. Lame.)

This is what I've been looking at...

SCARY, huh?

And something to smile at (from a wedding-goer this past weekend.)

I guess everyone needs something to stand for.

I'm doing much better from yesterday, although I have no new information. I really appreciate all your support. I know there's nothing I can do, so just having the reminder that I'm not the only one is more then enough right now.

My love, my bloggy ladies!

The Worst Part of the Waiting Game

Up until now, I was waiting, but I was waiting with relatively regular contact and with some idea of what I was waiting for. Now, I am waiting, but I don't know what I'm waiting for and when I will get it. Soon I will have my man home with me, in my arms.

Of course, "soon" is the closest I get to any time-frame.

Mostly because of OPSEC, Al can't really give me more information then that and in fact, it's pretty likely that he will be out of contact altogether for a period of time. I definitely respect him staying true to the security requirements and keeping himself and his men safe (even when I pry for more information, which I am sadly guilty of on occasion.)

I just wish I knew SOMETHING.

I want to plan a party for his return. I want to know how long I have to get everything in order at my place (and how long I can put off certain things I don't want to do...he he.) I want to know when I get to see him and hug him and kiss him. And, well, you know.

But mostly, I just want him home.

And this part, the uncertainty of time-frame. This is the part I don't like.

We've done so well on this deployment and I am so anxious to get to the next step. I know it will be a while for him to get settled back into a work routine and get rid of some of the stress he has, but I know that in no time we'll be moving along on our path. And I am so excited for it that I can hardly hold it in any longer. I just want the good stuff to start again!

So, Mr. Army-man (and Al's CO), if you're reading this:

Would you, could you, PLEASE, just get my man home to me?

Monthly Thought-Provoking Question: August 2010

Oops! I totally forgot to post this back on the first of the month. Forgive me?

August's TPQ:
(in honor of my semester starting in ONE week! Eek!)

What level of education have you accomplished? How has that impacted your life? Would you change it?

Email Post

This is my first time trying the blog post via email thing, so we'll see how it goes.

In fact, I am writing this from work because I am heading out for the evening to attend a wedding. I will be back sometime tomorrow but I have to work at both jobs and take care of other important things, like an oil change for my car. Therefore, it is likely that I will not be able to post anything, or read any of your blogs (the saddest part) until I finally slow down on Saturday night.

I purchased my books for school yesterday. It cose me $800. Yes, almost twice my rent to buy books for one semester. Depressing.

On the up-side. I was able to buy them free and clear, without touching my savings and without compromising any other bills. Between this awesome job this summer and my budget (that I've somewhat diligently stuck to), I managed to do this without much stress. I am pretty proud of myself for that.

One final note before I leave for the weekend. Didn't ya'll just love Al's post? I am so happy that he was willing to be a part of this whole experience, as I really enjoyed telling our story. I hope you appreciated it too! With the good response it's already received, perhaps I can convince him to contribute again in the future. Then again, maybe I shouldn't push my luck!

Have a happy Friday, all!

Our Story BONUS: His Perspective

That's right folks, in what he would likely call a moment of weakness, he agreed to do a small post in conjunction with my series for your reading pleasure.

I simply asked him to write anything he wanted relating to our relationship: a memory, a funny story or anything else he wanted to share.

Without further adieu, I present Al:

I first met Mel a little over 5 years ago when we were working in the same building, I had been working in another plant down the road and had recently transfered for a promotion to the plant that she worked at. I was working in the shipping dept. and she would come out of the office to check on special orders that needed to be handled appropriately to please the customer.

I remember a particular time that she came out one evening to check if one of these "special orders" was going to ship out. The department before me had screwed something up on the order and I had to send it back to be fixed, so I told her that I would do everything in my power to get it out on the next truck, even if I had to drive it to UPS myself. This was a friday night and she was going to drive back to her parents that evening for the weekend, so she gave me her phone number so that I could call her and tell her if it made it out in time. She made sure that I understood that she was only giving me her number for business reasons and I was pretty sure that she was involved with someone else at the time anyway, but I am not going to lie and say that my attraction to her at this point was strictly plutonic. She was with someone else and I was working a million hours a week at work and helping my father on the farm, plus I didn't think that my hick ass would ever have a chance with a beautiful city girl like that.

A few months past and we talked more and more, I think she may have even been yelled at for being out on the production floor so much. One day a guy that worked for me invited me to a party at his appartment and after carefull consideration (who am I kidding, I hadn't been to a party in over a year) I said that I would go. Turned out that the guy that Mel was dating at the time, was roomates with the guy that invited me to the party (ok, I kinda knew that but it was an added bonus to going to the party.)

Fast forward a couple more months and she had broken up with the guy from work, and I am a little rusty on who asked whom but I went over to her appartment to hang out, drink some beers, and watch TV, (Lame I know, but I had been out of the dating game for quite a while....actually come to think of it I never actually got into the adult dating game at all after a long relationship from high school ended.) This was right after I had decided to re-persue the Army after the idea fell though when I was 18. I felt like I was in a dead end rut at work(mostly cause I had advanced so quickly that the position that I was in some others had been in for 20 or more years) and my personal life wasn't really tied down so I up and joined the Army. It was the weekend before I left that I was on my way home from my brothers wedding in wisconsin, I had given her a call and asked her if she would like to meet up later for dinner (this is the time that I ordered a salad at a steak house and she will never let me forget that) it was a great dinner and we said our good byes and that was it, "it," whatever it was, was over before it even got started.

I was in Korea at Camp Casey, a little drunk I might add, and late night drunken phone calls back to the states were of little harm because our late nights over there were middle of the day for anyone in the continental United States, and they rarely woke anyone up at odd hours of the day. I decided to give her a call and see what she was up to, she had been at Navy OCS doing something that I couldn't make out cause the connection on the phone was crappy, not surprising. Which pretty much brings us up to date with her stories.

I have struggled for days (cause she asked me a few days ago to contribute to her blog) about what to write about, I picked the timeline before we were together because it amazes me even to this day that such a broken road can lead up to a wonderful life with such a wonderful woman. I often think about the way things would be if I had chosen certain different paths in life and now I can say that I wouldnt have done anything different and instead of focusing on things I could have done differently in the past, I can focus on things that I WANT to do with her by my side in the future!

Our Story #7: An R&R Anniversary

{the final and 7th part in a 7-part series on my journey of love, with Al by my side}

(Photos aren't working, but I really wanted to post this now. I will re-post when Blogger lets me get the photos up.)

Less then three months into his deployment, Al was informed he'd be taking his R&R early. Really early. I'm sure most of you know that the married guys and dads, especially those expecting, get first dibs on R&R dates and tend to choose ones as close to half-way as possible.

Which leaves the singles with the R&R dates at the beginning and end of deployment.

It actually worked out pretty well for us because we got to be together for our (official) one-year anniversary.

One of our R&R weekends, we headed out to the farm to spend time with his parents and siblings. His sister had gotten married the summer earlier and her husband and her were trying to conceive. They had some trouble and stopped trying for awhile. That weekend we all went out to see the DJ Chopper at a local bar. It was a great time!

Chopper has a 57 Chevy as his DJ booth, so people can get up on it and dance.

We ended up drinking, dancing and shutting the bar down.

A few months later we got a "thank you" call and the night was re-dubbed "the night of conception." They are expecting a boy in November.

The one in the middle is the proud mama!

Since I had school to focus on, Al got to spend ample time with his dad helping with things at the farm and enjoying his friends from back home. It was nice to let him do his own thing and me do mine and still come home to each other to share our days.

We spent some time with my sister and friends where I went to college. And we had plenty of dinners with friends and family. All-in-all, it was a great R&R.

Our last weekend before he left happened to be our Anniversary. We still wanted to do something special, so we booked a hotel and dinner downtown and got dolled up.

I remember how good dinner was, but I couldn't tell you a single thing I ordered. What I do recall is the dessert - that delicious and amazing red velvet cake!

The next day was his last in town, so we met his family for a little dinner celebration and spent the night in a hotel near the airport so myself and his parents could see him off in the morning.

I got a pass to enter security and wait at the gate with him this time. Thankfully it was virtually no hassle. So we grabbed bagels and coffee and curled up by his gate while we waited.

We laughed and hugged a bit.

Mostly, we sat in silence, with me curled up in his arm-crease, chewing on my bagel.

He sat there and ran his fingers over my arm again and again. Every once in a while he stopped to kiss my forehead.

And then it was time.

I didn't cry. At least not in front of him.

I walked away and the tears started coming. By the time I got to my car, I was bawling.

(I don't think he knows this, but I had to turn around and go back to our chairs. I'd forgotten my jacket. I was worried he'd see that I had started crying so I hung back until I knew he wasn't in line anymore before I grabbed it. Oh, I KNOW it's completely ridiculous but...)

But I didn't cry in front of him.

I'm not sure why, but that was really important to me.

I wanted him to remember a face of resilience and strength; love, trust and support.

I didn't want him to see weakness or have any reason to worry about me.

I pulled out of the parking lot and over along the fence line at the airport. I sat there watching planes take off, listening to various songs that make me cry or smile. By the time 30 minutes passed, I was calm.

Now I reflect on that day and realize just how great it really was. I woke up next to my best friend and the most amazing man I know. He quietly showered, trying hard to let me sleep some more (like I could!) I watched him pack his sack and get into uniform. He hugged his parents and said his good-byes. Even though we both knew of the upcoming separation and how hard it would be, we were just happy to have that morning together.

It was just us. Saying good-bye.

On Valentines Day.

(Sure we try not to celebrate it, and we try to avoid giving it much meaning, but I'll be damned if it doesn't sneak in anyway. Perhaps this falling on V-day is the "perfect" thing for our anti-v-day souls!)

Valentines Day is now, for us, the day we said good-bye. Again.

Normal

Yesterday, I had three significant moments where the discussion of "normal" came up.

First, a friend on FB asked no on in particular why her family "isn't normal?"

Second, I read THIS excellent post from Wife on the Roller Coaster about what a "normal" deployment is.

Finally, I was chatting with the wife of Al's BF. She just brought her husband back to the airport last week to return to Iraq after R&R (he's currently deployed with a Minnesota NG unit.) She was commenting about how hard it was to get back to "normal" life only to have it be stripped away once again.

This got me thinking. Is the life of a Mil-SO ever really normal.

Sure, we could argue that nothing is normal; normal is in the eye of the beholder; normal is boring...Blah blah blah.

But I think most people would agree that "normal" does exist in some sense.

Going to college, living with your husband, having kids, working - these are all typically considered "normal" phases of ones life. Everyone does them a little differently and some people skip a few steps, but many still fall in line with what's considered "normal."

But a does a "normal" life as a mil-SO exist?

Is the unpredictability and ABnormality of military life our sense of normal?

And if that's the case, isn't the possibility of any circumstance and any outcome absolutely and positively within the realm of normal?

Coming from someone who likes planning, certainty and control, getting used to no sense of "normal" was a hard transition. So, instead of going to the traditional "normal" mile-markers to plan out my life - I decided to adopt my own rules of "normal."

1. Being able to talk to Al, in whatever form, whenever possible, is normal as long as we say "I love you" at the end.

2. Taking things one day at a time, as opposed to worrying TOO much about the future, is normal, HOWEVER

3. Making a plan for marriage and graduations and babies with some fluidity, to account for any of life's changes, is also normal.

And finally...

4. Having a man I am proud of, who I love and support so deeply AND who loves and supports me back - is completely, wholly and without a doubt NORMAL.

This is a standard of normal I think I can keep up with.

What are your thoughts?