Time

August is almost over. Again.

Four years ago, I started dating the man that is now my wonderful husband. Three years ago, I was starting law school and preparing to say goodbye to Al as he left for Iraq. Two years ago, I was a month from Al's return to the states and would soon after be engaged. Last year, I was leaving Ft. Bliss, TX to return to Minnesota and finish my last year of law school.

August has always been a turning point for me. It has always commemorated big changes: school, travel, work and the beginning of fall! This year, as August comes to an end, I find myself reflective. I am starting a new job and we are weeks from closing on our first home. Once again, August marks big change in my life and I am grateful.

I am grateful that, as time ticks by - as seasons change and years pass - I am blessed with a great life. Sometimes I wish I could speed things up, to get through something difficult or to fast-forward to a special day. Other times, I want to slam the brakes and slow life down a bit. I want to stop an enjoy the moment. 

That is how I feel right now. I want to step outside and breath in the crisp, mountain air. I want to hug my husband and just be still. For a moment. For a couple moments. Alas, time has a funny way of moving along no matter what. August will always come and go. I can only hope that each August milestone is as good as this one!

Graduation Recap

This post has been a long time in the making, since I graduated over a week ago! Since then, I have started my bar review course, which happens to be more grueling than I originally thought. That is, however, only because I'm in complete denial that I should still be in a school setting. 

Back to graduation weekend...

I got up super early (read: before Al was up for the day) and drove to the Denver airport to catch my plane home. I was surprised in Minneapolis by my grandparents and aunt and uncle picking me up at the airport. That day, we did a little shopping and had a nice dinner at my grandparent's house.

On Saturday, we just spent the day with family, relaxing, eating great food and drinking delicious Minnesota beer!

The cake Grandma made me!

On the day of graduation, I woke up to a delicious cinnamon bun breakfast. My sister did my hair and makeup (because she is really good at that stuff) and we headed to the Saint Paul River Centre around lunch time.

The student speaker was actually good - short, sweet and relatable. Our professor speaker was also good about keeping it short and sweet. The guest speaker, however, was miserable. I'm sure he had good intentions, but he was long-winded and included discussion of why we need to work out regularly and donate money to our school. 

And then I graduated!!

 Thank you, William Mitchell, for the butt-kicking, the friendships and the memories. 

Thank you, my WM friends (you know who you are) who helped me stay on track and not bail on the whole thing. 

Thank you, especially, Caroline and Megan, for many wine nights and necessary weekend getaways and for loving me through it!

Thank you, my amazing husband, for never losing his cool and for always loving me anyway. 

And, finally, thank you Mom (and family) for making me strong enough to do this and for being my biggest cheerleader possible. 

You all totally rock!

Winner!

Graduation weekend was great! I had an amazing time with all my family and friends and even though I was home for a short 48 hours, it felt good to be "home" for a bit. 

I got back late last night and stayed with my Aunt in the Denver area so I could start my bar prep class today. Al is in the field again this week, so I am just focusing on getting through this first week of class and switching my brain back on to study-mode. 

In the meantime, you're probably waiting to hear about who won the book

7 Money Rules for Life by Mary Hunt

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Congratulations, Noel! 

I will contact you by email for further details.

Have a happy Monday, y'all!

Today, I Graduate!

Holy crap. I can't believe this day is here. 

My sister is doing my hair and makeup and my mother is steaming my graduation gown.

I have a pair of hot pink peep toes sitting on the dresser and my jewelery is laid out next to it.

Soon we will leave for the ceremony, where I will receive my law school diploma. Eek!

My trip home has been delightful and I loved seeing my family and friends once again. I am feeling a little spoiled this weekend - with attention and praise - and am humbled by all the love! I'm all smiles.

Shortly after the ceremony, I will be whisked away to the airport to fly back to Colorado so I can start my class tomorrow. Then real-life starts again.

Until then, I am going to live briefly in the glow of this event!

I think I can, I think I can

It's almost over. I just emailed a quiz and I plan on writing all day tomorrow to hand in my paper, which means I have one exam on Friday and another on Monday and I am done.  

It's like I've been climbing a mountain, foot-hole after hand-hold and trying to keep my grip and not fall off. Ok, so maybe that's not a very good analogy, but my brain is fried and that's all I have. The end is in sight, however. I can see the top of the law school mountain. The peak is just beyond reach and even though my arms are like jelly and my legs are ready to give out, the adrenaline coursing through my entire body is keeping me reaching. Pulling myself to the top. 


And you bet your behind I've got a big ol' flag to put there at the top of this law school mountain. Just a little symbol to say: Melissa was here. She came. She saw. She conquered. 


And then she drank some wine and got the hell out. 

So Close

20 Days...

Until I take my last law school final

21 Days...

Until I move to Colorado to live with my husband

40 Days...

Until Graduation

I am so excited, nervous, tired, overwhelmed, delighted and about one million other emotions. My parents have been amazingly supportive since my little corner of their home looks like a disaster area. Al has been a saint as I'm sure he's received the brunt of my varying emotions. 

(A funny article about the end of law school - category #5 sounds nice! ha ha!)

It is surreal to think that this is almost over. I look back to where I started and where I am today - and remember all the steps along the way. Wow.

Now I need to pass the bar and get a job...

Adulthood and Avoiding Negative People

I've come to a realization recently: I am too darn old to surround myself with people who are negative, mean, or otherwise poisonous personalities. 

While this applies to people in general, I am finding it is a trait most commonly found in women. Prior to law school I had a very small group of female friends. In fact 75% of my friends were men. I simply get along with men better for a multitude of reasons. Certainly, my closest friends are women and always have been, but my extended circle was usually men. As I've gotten older (and married) I have more great women in my life than I do men, and ultimately, my group of friends (real, true, accountable & fun) is small.

I am OK with that. Because most people suck.

To understand more, take a look at this article. The article talks about how the majority of people are either contributors, people who contribute positively the their environment, or contaminators, people who contaminate it. When I say most people suck, I am referring to contaminators. I have found that two of the groups I am most actively involved in are chock full of contaminators: law school and the military (spouses.) 

In law school you develop friendships with a group of people pretty early on and you tend to stay connected to those people through the entire three-year process. The main reason for that is how insulated you are in law school, especially your first year. Add to that the fact that law students are high-strung, sleep-deprived, caffeinated, over-achievers who are competing (literally) for grades and jobs and it can be a toxic environment. 

Military life has its own set of problems. For one, it is a rare time where people from all over the country, from many backgrounds and life experiences, are in one group and again, often insulated from others. Mix in the difficulties of the job and lifestyle (and the roller-coaster of emotions that accompanies it) and it can be difficult to navigate those relationships. 

I recognized the effect this negativity was having on my life in the past 6 months. I would read a Facebook status and scowl, then spend 30 minutes scouring other posts, comments and past notes for more information and then spend another 1 hour stewing over the whole thing internally. This particular example is someone I've never even met in real life - and her complaining had affected almost TWO HOURS of my day. Cutting out that type of negativity was pretty easy, I went through Facebook and promptly deleted anyone that I didn't know (or didn't like) and did the same thing with a few blogs.

It is a lot harder, however, to cut out real-life friends when they start contaminating your environment. For one, many times these friends have contributed some positive things to your friendship. It can also be hard when you are in contact with that person for uncontrollable reasons (i.e. you work together, attend classes together, have mutual friends or your husband's are in the same unit.) 

My feelings on this really came to a head last night. I was supposed to meet a large group of ladies out for cocktails after class. My close friends were among them, but the vast majority were mere acquaintances. I ended up not attending, mostly because my foot was sore and I had a lot of homework. As I drove home, I started feeling guilty.
And then it hit me. I didn't want to be there. I had no desire to hang out with those girls (with the exception of a few) and I had no reason to feel guilty. I made a decision to go home, be relaxed and productive rather than have a few cocktails with people I don't know or like. Why would I ever feel bad about that?  My "epiphany" led me to think more about how I should choose my friends - if I don't enjoy them, if they're not contributors - then they are not really worth my time. 

Now, in order to fully purge negative people from my life, I have to be brutally honest. I am a negative person, sometimes. I have bad days. I complain. I gossip. I am even mean on occasion. I have to recognize that if I truly want to address this matter head-on. I have to commit to change my own negative tendencies - after all, if I act in a negative way, then I am just poisoning the people around me. The people I actually care about.

So, for this to truly matter in my life, I have to make sure that, as much as possible, I am a contributor. And then surround myself with contributors whenever I can. 
'Cause those contaminators just ain't worth my time! :)

Washington D.C. Recap

We got up early on Friday morning and flew to D.C. We arrived around lunch time and checked into our hotel before hitting the city to check out the capitol and the Supreme Court building. That night was the Welcome Dinner at AU Washington College of Law. It was great to meet the other schools with competitors and hear the speakers who started the program.

Saturday was the first day of competition and both of out students did very well. Mainesha actually did extremely well and made it to the semi-finals, which is saying an awful lot since so many students were excellent! On Sunday, she competed in the semi-final round and again did well. She hadn't been feeling well and did not make it to the finals, but again the competition was fierce. I was so proud of both of them for their hard work and courage! 

Sunday, we spent the rest of the day running around the city checking out the sites and monuments. David insisted we stop at a place called Ben's Chili Bowl, which has "the best chili dogs in D.C." According to a sign on the door: "People who eat free: President Obama & Family and Bill Cosby. And no one else!" Let's just say that even though I had to pay for it, it was delicious! David was so happy to find it - actually, he was basically beaming the whole weekend. He had never been outside of Minnesota so everything from the airplane to the subway to the gas prices were a brand new experience and he had his camera going the entire time. 

All in all, it was a great weekend and even though I was exhausted and I hurt my foot, I had a wonderful time. The students were excellent, my co-coach was a great buddy and travel companion and, well, D.C. is always a fun place to be! 

Now it's back to the grind. Less than 30 days to go!

And now for some pictures...

The Capitol

China Town

MLK Memorial (Brand new!)

I got to meet up for lunch with Reina - We had so much fun!

Supreme Court

Ben's Chili Bowl - the best chili dog in the city! Even the President says so!

Random Thoughts on Monday

Have I mentioned that I am up to my eyeballs writing my long paper?

Ok, ok...I've mentioned it once or twice. The first draft is due Friday, so once that is off my plate, I will be around a little more. Also on Friday, I leave for Washington D.C. to take two high-school students to participate in a national moot court competition. It should be a great experience for the kids and a fun little break for me.


I've already planned a lunch date with the lovely Reina in D.C. on Saturday and can hardly wait! I told her I was going to wear something extra cute for our date so we could take lots of pictures! I really love that blogging can bring me together with people from all over the country!


Is anyone else watching Army Wives this season? Are you hating it as much as I am?


SPOILERS * SPOILERS * SPOILERS


The season started off great, with all the endearing characters and a good blend of excitement mixed with realism. Something about Pamela leaving and the new General and his wife arriving that have spun everything into this weird, sniveling, politicking place that I just can't get on board with. Sure, when you get too many women in one group, there is bound to be some smack-talking and game-playing and, yes, there is some truth to the whole "play politics to get ahead" thing, but can't we just keep things out of that soap-opera-y place? And since when does wearing a miniskirt mean you can't run an FRG?


Whatever. It is TV and the writers want it to be interesting. I guess I shouldn't expect much from a bunch of Hollywood writers who are trying to sell TV rather than portray military life in an artistic way. Ok, I'm moving it on since it is just a show.


I'm off to do some more writing. If I'm not back in a few days send a search party!

Oh, and don't forget to enter my giveaway before it ends on Friday. 

Prayer

I am so glad this week is over. 

After my Monday meltdown, it was especially difficult for me to trek through the week and stay focused. Thursday and Friday were spent studying for my Saturday exam. There was a moment, on Friday afternoon, where I actually considered running away. That moment came after I took my third practice test and got the worst score yet - the more I studied, the worse I did. It was that moment where I thought about just getting into my car and driving to Colorado and forgetting about my stupid dream to become a lawyer. 

Surely, I'll find a new passion, right?

As I looked back down at the pages and realized that I couldn't possibly learn another thing, I closed my eyes. I took a deep breath and told myself everything was going to be OK. Then I put the books away and did something I haven't done in a long time. I prayed. 

Now, I pray semi-regularly, but almost always for other people. I will send up a prayer for a family member or a friend who needs strength, healing or guidance. I will say a prayer when I see an accident or hear a horrible story on the news. 

But I rarely pray for myself.

What makes me think I can do everything on my own? 

So, for the first time in a long time, I knelt next to my bed, bowed my head, and prayed. 

I felt silly kneeling next to my bed with my hands folded. I didn't really know where to start or what to say. I spoke out loud at first, and then in my head. And a few times I just sat in silence hoping He just knew what I needed to say. Even though I was a little rusty, I'm also quite positive that didn't matter. 

I know He heard me. I know I'm better for it.

Tomorrow is another Monday. God help me, literally.

Better

I'm doing a little better today. Mondays are hell on me (well, on everyone) and this past Monday was especially brutal. For no particular reason. I have a great group of people who support me - and even though I probably haven't been a very good friend lately - their efforts have not gone unnoticed. I also appreciated the comments from you guys reminding me that I'm not alone in the world - we all have our struggles and friendship, family and prayer always help.

I have a slightly renewed positive energy. Just barely, but still. 

I read this article today, which made me smile. 

Can you guess which category I fall under?

I have a bff-date/wine-night planned for after class tonight. I will likely be m.i.a. for the next few days because of the test on Saturday. I will, however, pick and post the winner of my book giveaway on Friday!

Did you enter yet?

Random Thoughts on a Monday

I am taking a break for lunch and wanted to share a few things that have been rolling through my head recently.

Actually, if I'm being honest, I'm feeling a little over-whelmed. I have a lot to do for school and not enough time to do it. I need to start packing and getting my application filed so I can actually get my license to practice law. I also need to take care of the basics, like order new contacts and get my hair cut. And maybe shower. 

This is quickly turning into a mental-health Monday and I might skip out on class to get organized and clear my head. Everyone needs one of those days, right? 

I get flashes of inspiration (usually stemming from the beautifully small number of days on my countdown to when I move to Colorado to be with my husband again) and then it dissipates. I wake up every day and write-out a TO DO LIST, usually divided into categories: HOMEWORK, PERSONAL, SCHOOL/WORK and MISC. Things like cleaning and laundry go into miscellaneous and almost never get done. 

By noon, I have sucked down two or more cups of coffee, cleared my Google Reader and sufficiently delayed progress as far as it can go. I am usually contemplating a nap or an episode of Real Housewives (the horror!) before I finally convince myself that the homework isn't going anywhere. Neither is my uncombed hair.

OK, to be fair (to myself, mostly) I do get a lot done on weekends and I never miss my deadlines. I take care of my obligations as necessary. Oh! And I've started saying No when I don't have the time or simply don't want to do it. (Yay me!) Even with all that, I still lay in bed for an hour every night, staring into the darkness, thinking about the things on my LIST that I didn't cross off. 

I am tired. Law school has completely wiped me out.

I am drained of inspiration, motivation and sheer gumption.

I am not having a break-down - I am catching this early, thankfully - but I am burnt out.

At this point, I am going through the grind, taking it day-by-day and constantly reminding myself that "it is almost over, you will survive and yes, it is all worth it." 

It is worth it. I know that.

I want this and damnit if I haven't worked my butt off for it.

I am so ready to be a real person again. To work for a living. To have a career.

The concept is so novel it feels like science-fiction.

And the (incredibly awful) student loan bill awaiting me in 7 months doesn't help.

Alas, I am here, counting days and hanging on. I am making it: one foot in front of the other and one day at a time. And most days I even have a smile on my face. 

But I will say this: I am grateful to be done and I will never, ever do this again.

(Not that I would have to, but still.)

Thank you for listening, my lovely readers and the blog-o-sphere abyss-at-large.

Advice for Being Safe

Before I get into today's topic, I wanted to chime in on "the post" that currently has everyone in a tizzy. I think since the backlash has started, she has edited down the post (removing some of the most offensive commentary) and she has increased in followers. I let you draw your own inferences there.

{Army Wife 101's take (to which I commented briefly.) Rather than use this space to tell you all the reasons I think she is nuts, I am going to save my breath. We're likely not going to change her mind and I think she is entitled to her opinions.}

 For me, the bottom line is: this life is damn hard enough without making enemies within the one group of people you need the most. 

~~o~~

On to what this post is really about...

Yesterday, on my way to school, I got an email from my boss saying she had been attacked. It was a snatch-and-grab mugging and when she tried to hang on to her purse, he dragged her to the ground. She suffered only minor cuts and bruises (Thank God!) and was mostly just scared. Luckily, there was a nearby witness and the police responded immediately.

The scary part: this happened one block from my school in broad daylight. It was around lunch time and she had parked in the neighborhood on her way to a school training. My first year of law school, I live two blocks from where this happened and walked down that street everyday. My school is located in a nice neighborhood, on a busy street, surrounded by churches. I kid you not, there are at least 6 churches within a block from my school. About 5 blocks south is one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in the city, which is clearly significant.

I have since been telling every woman I know to be hyper-alert and as safe as possible around school (and everywhere, frankly.) I figured that I would share this with you, too, since I think they are tips that can help women in general be safer at all times.

Women's Safety Plan: 

1. Always be aware of your surroundings. Don't be talking or texting on your cell. Don't listen to music if you're out for a run/walk. Don't be distracted by anything. You should always assess your surroundings - look and listen. This will not only protect you, but also alert an offender that you are not a victim. Look people in the eye; walk with purpose; and notice safe escape routes or public places to enter.

2. Do not fight for your "things." It is a natural instinct to hang on to your purse or bag when someone tries to grab it. We are possessive of our belongings, because they are so personal. However, fighting over the purse is what most often causes injury.

As Al says: "Your things are replaceable, you are not."

3. If you do have to walk somewhere, don't do it alone. Take a buddy with you and then give them a ride back to their car or your work/school/house/wherever. If you are in a place where a security escort is available, use it! 

4. Carrying mace, pepper spray or a taser is fine, if it will make you more comfortable. Do not rely on using it, however. Often times, you will not have the time, or the wherewithal to reach for it in defense. It is more likely, it will be just late enough to be used against you instead. It is better to know one or two combative tactics that will incapacitate an offender long enough for you to escape without doing major harm.

Oh, and if you do carry something, carry it separate from your purse (like a pocket or keychain.) 

I hope these tips will help prevent attacks like this, or at least, help make it better if an attack occurs. Hyper-awareness is your best friend. Please be careful out there!

(Sort of) Wordless Wednesday

SOPA and a Song

I'm so glad that Goodnight Moon brought the Song-Link-Up back.

Have you heard Trent Tomlinson before? He had the song "One Wing in the Fire" quite a few years ago. Anyway, I love his voice. It's masculine and gritty, but still really elegant. 

He has a new song that I just love. There is no video for it yet, so here is a link to his fan site where you can listen to the entire song (in the sidebar.) You can buy the song on iTunes.


--oo------oo------oo------oo------oo--


I have to say that I was really impressed by all the people who spoke out against SOPA/PIPA yesterday. It sounds like most politicians are reeling from the outcry and considering taking the whole thing off the table. I read this interesting article today. The author does a great job of discussing both (1) the failures of the politicians and (2) the fear of the internet having such a profound influence on the law. 


On the latter point, I beg to differ. I think yesterday showed the solidarity of the public to make law, using the internet as a resource. Isn't that what our country is all about? Isn't it a government run by the people? The problem is, we've elected a handful of imbeciles that either don't remember what they stand for, or never took a stance in the first place. Our government is falling apart. That is a fact. Yesterday, the people realized that if real change is going to happen in our country, it's going to start with us. The people. 

Another Step

I bought my last set of law school books...ever.

Which means five classes stand between me and that black cap and robe:

1. The Law and Justice of War

2. Income Tax

3. The Law and Public Education

4. Real Estate Transactions

5. Assisted Reproductive Technology

5(a). My long paper

I have to start filling out my bar application, which includes a pretty extensive background check and about a million personal references. It is going to be quite busy between now and May.

In four short months it will all be over.

Now if only I could speed up the clock...

12 in 2012: Part 1 {Setting Realistic Goals}

I don't like making resolutions. So many people make grandiose, superficial and virtually unattainable resolutions that they are of course going to keep.

I can even admit that I have done this in the past myself.

In fact, I usually feel worse about the fact that I failed at the goal than the fact that goal was pointless or unrealistic in the first place.

This year, I am instead going to make 12 mini-goals that can be accomplished throughout the year. Ideally, I will pick one each month that I can achieve and check them off as I go. It would be counter-productive, however, to not allow for flexibility. Especially if I have a particularly productive month or a month where things are too crazy to get the extras done. I also want to make sure that I am setting goals that can be achieved regardless of where I live and what my life entails. Let's face it, 2012 is going to be a busy year.

Before I unveil the specific goals, I want to outline (mostly for my own sake) my calendar and major events coming up in 2012:

January:

1 Year Anniversary!

1-Week J-Term

Final Semester of Law School Begins

February:

Al moves to Ft. Carson

March:

2-year Blog-a-versary

Spring Break - Visit Colorado

April:

Trip to D.C. for National Moot Court

May:

My Birthday & Al's Birthday

End of {my last} semester - GRADUATION!

Move to Colorado Springs/Ft. Carson

June:

Start Bar Prep Course

July:

Take Bar Exam

October:

Bar Results Returned

Get a Job DEADLINE

There may or may not be house-buying, baby-making, and a deployment in the plan, but we can't really nail down when/how those things will happen. Like I said, 2012 is going to be a big year. I can hardly wait!

Stay tuned tomorrow for part 2...

Don't Try, Just Do

I've said before that I work best under pressure. I would rather study 12-hours-per-day for 4 straight days and then be completely finished than spread it out over two weeks and leisurely complete the work. Sure, it's not necessarily the most stress-free option, but over many years of schooling it has proven to provide the most optimal results.

While in my typical morning routine (wherein I post-pone everything to read blogs, check email and scroll through Facebook while sipping on coffee that was inevitably delivered to my bed) I read an article that made me sit up.

Read it. It's pretty short. I'll wait.

Even though my procrastinate-and-push-through mentality has always worked in the past, I have recently been trying to procrastinate less. Yet, here I am, 5 days away from the end of finals, setting myself up for the same routine I have done many times before. Trying is not working.

I need to stop trying to study for that exam. I need to stop trying to get through one more case, or one more paragraph, or one more outline. I need to stop making excuses. I need to just DO it.

Like the author said, it's time to remove the word "TRY" from our vocabulary.

It's worthless. It's time-filler. Much like the word "wait." (I added that.)

It simply provides us with an excuse to not get off our butts and get things done.

So, as soon as I hit publish, I will jump out of bed, get dressed, and do my work!

Frantically Writing

I'm sorry that I've disappeared. I am currently elbow-deep in writing an appellate brief and, well, blogging just isn't going to happen. In the meantime, enjoy one of my favorite study songs and get outside and enjoy the Saturday evening that I am unfortunately unable to enjoy!

Wordless Wednesday: Means to an End