12 in 2012: Month in Review

I'm sitting here at school, studying for my last {ever} law school exam. Tonight, after the test, I need to finish packing up my car and put together a cooler of drinks and snacks for the road. I'm lucky enough to have a girlfriend join me for the trip, so early (really early) tomorrow morning we're hitting the road. Stay tuned for some fun posts this week as I travel and get settled in. In the meantime, let's recap my April goals:

1. Speak up.

Still doing well on this, no change.

2. Spend less.

I have done an okay job on this one. I have not spent over my max budget ($100), but I did quite a bit of shopping. You see, my graduation present from my grandparents was a new professional wardrobe. After two different weekends at Macy's scouring the clearance racks, I walked away with the following: ($340.00)
     1 Tahari skirt suit                   1 Michael Kors shift dress
 1 LeSuit skirt suit                  1 Anne Klein shift dress
1 pair dress slacks                   3 other shift dresses
1 Sunny Leigh pencil skirt          1 Vince Camuto sweater
1 Calvin Klein blouse                      2 Alfani blouses
1 cinched-waist rain coat

3. Spread the Love.

Once again, this month got away from me because I was so insanely busy with school and moving. But, both my little sisters had birthdays this month, so my sister and I created big "teenage" baskets for them.

4. Snap it.

I'm doing fine on this as well. I'm not at the number I should be, but I will have some bigger events to make up for it later! Check out my album on Facebook. 

5. Spice it Up.

Waiting for Colorado...

6. Sweat.

Not happening...right now.

7. Stamp It.

Waiting for Graduation...

8. See the Sights.

I am really excited to take time to explore Colorado with Al!

9. Style it.

Follow my fashion blog, to see that journey. Find my fashion inspiration here.

10. Save space.

Oh, the plans I have to organize all the closets and spaces in our apartment. I have stuffed my car to the brim with baskets and bins so my closet and other areas can be organized spectacularly. I have been pinning lots of ideas and pulling articles and other things that inspire me.

11. Slow down. & 12. Sleep more.

Yeah...nothing slow over here. Maybe I'll take a week or two off before my Bar class starts...

Winners!

Have you been on the edge of your seats waiting to hear who won the Courage Cakes giveaway?

Well, I am going to get right to it and announce all three winners, selected at random using the Rafflecopter.


You should all be contacted personally by CourageCakes and they will let you know how to claim your prize!
If you did not win, I really encourage you to go check out their +One program and buy a great cake for someone you love: deployed, a spouse in need of a pick me up or just a family member you're missing! When you purchase a cake, they donate another one!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Saturday Share

I would tell you how excited I am to leave in 2 days, but I am pretty sure y'all are sick of hearing about it. Instead, I will just share some great links with you!


MAKE: These beaded coasters via SwagbucksTV
(If you can handle watching Martha Stewart for 6 minutes, it's worth it. These coasters are adorable!)

LEARN: How to answer the most common interview questions via LifeHacker


READ: This blog, written by an MD (and JD, show-off!) who specializes in veterans with PTSD, drug addictions and other traumas. He is an amazing writer and has a lot of amazing insight into issues that are very real and very important. 
(Thank you, Kristle for the recommendation!)


And finally, LIVE this way:

Source: citizenship-aei.org via Mel on Pinterest

I think I can, I think I can

It's almost over. I just emailed a quiz and I plan on writing all day tomorrow to hand in my paper, which means I have one exam on Friday and another on Monday and I am done.  

It's like I've been climbing a mountain, foot-hole after hand-hold and trying to keep my grip and not fall off. Ok, so maybe that's not a very good analogy, but my brain is fried and that's all I have. The end is in sight, however. I can see the top of the law school mountain. The peak is just beyond reach and even though my arms are like jelly and my legs are ready to give out, the adrenaline coursing through my entire body is keeping me reaching. Pulling myself to the top. 


And you bet your behind I've got a big ol' flag to put there at the top of this law school mountain. Just a little symbol to say: Melissa was here. She came. She saw. She conquered. 


And then she drank some wine and got the hell out. 

Courage Cakes: A Giveaway

I cannot even tell you how excited I am to host this giveaway and introduce this company to you. The company is called Courage Cakes and it was started as a school entrepreneurial project at University of Washington, but quickly turned into a business and charity venture. When you take one look at the company website you will see why!

Courage Cakes provides that "taste of home" to your loved ones by sending a single-serving cake-in-a-jar. The recipient simply opens the jar, adds water, and microwaves for 30 seconds in order to enjoy warm, gooey, delicious cake! What a great way to celebrate an anniversary, birthday or holiday while your loved one is deployed! You can even personalize the jar with a photo or special message. 

The essence of the company is summed up nicely in this quote from their website: 

Courage Cakes allow you to encourage the troops with fresh, hot cake that's ready in seconds and a personalized message that lasts a lifetime. Share the taste of home with those serving our country and we'll send another on your behalf! Celebrate, encourage, and stay connected with Courage Cakes.

We all know so well how important these little gifts are for the men & women deployed or in the field (or even for their families waiting for them at home.) Some might say that cake is not a "need" - but we know that, in fact, something that warms the heart and gives them a reminder of home is so valuable. These cakes do just that!

My favorite thing about this Courage Cakes is their +One program. If you purchase a Courage Cake for someone, the company will donate an additional cake to Operation Gratitude to send to someone else in need. I strongly encourage you to become part of that program.

Today, I am teaming up with Courage Cakes to give away...

1 Courage Cake with 3-pack refill and customizable lid
To three lucky winners!

Enter using the Rafflecopter below. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

***I received no compensation for hosting this giveaway, nor was I instructed on what to say. These views are my own and I choose only companies & products I truly believe in when hosting 3rd party giveaways on my blog!

Saturday Share

PLEASE complete this quick survey ----------------->
It's for your own good!


Another week has come and gone and I am NINE DAYS from taking my last law school final and driving across the country to start my life with my husband. I am sick with excitement over the whole thing!

In the meantime, I'm sharing another set of links from around the web. 

MAKE: Coconut Mango Mojitos - Seriously!

LEARN: Why Women's Initiatives are hindering (and not helping) women in the workplace

by Vivia Chen at The Careerist

SHOP: My Smashion store. I'm overhauling my closet and getting rid of a bunch of great items. Here's your chance to grab a piece or two right out of my closet!
{If you don't put in your order by Thursday, all of this is going to the thrift store!}

DECORATE: Your home based on your personal style via Sproost.com

Have a great Saturday!

A Long Trip Alone

{Warning: this is a long post. It is also a late-night stream-of-consciousness, so bear with me. I needed to get this out.}


My husband is a beautifully strong man. Sometimes, he is strong to a fault. He struggles to see the value in sympathy and compassion. He doesn't naturally recognize the need for encouragement and the recognition of others. And he does not, ever, find it necessary to worry, wallow or pity oneself.

In many ways, I envy these traits. His ability to stand clearly for who he is an not waiver to others is admirable. His constant get-up-and-get-the-job-done attitude is one of the things I love and respect about him. Sometimes, though, I feel as though his toughness is a defense mechanism - to keep him from "going soft" on emotions and losing track of what needs to get done. Sometimes, I want him to feel more.


Because I feel. A lot. 


 I am fiercly independent and wholly passionate. 
And I am strong, confident and meticulous.

I don't need validation from my husband. I don't need him to make me whole or strong or capable. That is a fact. It is a fact upon which he fell in love with me. That unyielding desire to follow my dreams and the strength that carries me through it is one of the things that I draw from within myself. Not from anywhere or anyone else.

At the same time, it is human nature to seek approval from others, to seek companionship, to desire a sense of belonging. God intended for people to pair, to mate and to go in life together. While I don't need Al, I do want him. I want him to be proud of me. I want him to lift me up when I need a boost and to remind me why I desire the things I do. I want him to want those things from me.


After all, life is about the journey, right? It's not about the end. We all die sometime and I'd rather look back on my life and know that I was surrounded by love and family and good people rather than plaques and awards and accomplishments. Ultimately, successes are empty if you can't share them with someone. 

Without Al, I would still get up tomorrow and I would still accomplish many things. I would do it without his support, or the support of others. But that doesn't mean it's my first choice. No one wants to go it alone. I don't want to go on this journey without Al. 
Given the choice, I will always want him by my side and me by his. To celebrate the successes and to strengthen each other when the going gets tough. 


Without him, life would still go on, but it is an awfully long trip alone.

Sting like a Bee

I finally did it! I had my first boxing class! Depending on how long you've followed me, you might know that I've had this goal for over a year. I even signed up for classes two different times before and for one reason or another, didn't go. This time, I went. It was at a Crossfit gym, and to fully understand how intense this boxing/cross-training/bootcamp workout was, you need to watch this video.

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee." - Muhammad Ali

My bff and I went together, safety in numbers in case we felt like fools or bowed out early. I'm proud to say we stuck it out to the bitter, bitter end. Which, by the way, the instructor called the "soul-crushing" portion on the workout. And let me tell you, soul crushing it was. My muscles are shredded - every last one of them. I have pain in my calves, my butt cheeks and even the palm of my hands. I'm hunched over like a grandma and I cringe every time I move. I'm sure Mr. Ali was referring to "stinging" the other guy in a fight, but based on the level of pain I'm in two days later, I'm not so sure. 

And yet, the workout was amazing. I have never been pushed so hard and sweat so much!

On top of that, I'm learning to box. That was the whole point after all. We learned punching and kicking technique, along with sequences to get the most out of your punches. We practiced on punching bags and then we paired off and used pads. Next session, we're supposed to learn more blocks and ducks and other strategies. I'm not signing up to get in a ring any time soon, let's not get crazy, but I love that it requires the perfect blend of strength and gracefulness.

And I have cool pink boxing gloves

I might feel like crap, but you should see the other guy...Oh wait...

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Words on Separation: Then and Now

While putting together my 30 by 30 list (to be revealed on my 28th birthday in May) I scrolled through my archives for ideas and some reflection. I stumbled upon a really cool post that I wrote back when Al was deployed - Almost exactly 2 years ago. 

~~o~~o~~o~~o~~o~~

1. The heart really is a lot tougher then I'd initially thought

2. Talking on the phone over thousands of miles is a much different kind of communication

3. Absence does NOT always make the heart grow fonder

4. But absence DOES help teach you what's really important

5. Emotions are more intense and conversations more vital when you can't have them face-to-face

6. Being able to "kiss and make up" is hugely underrated

7. So is make-up sex, morning sex, and really any kind of sex we don't get to have

8. I miss fighting over the covers and explaining why I bought another pair of shoes

9. Even when he's crabby, smelly and sweaty, a soldier still looks hot in uniform

10. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world

(from this post on April 19, 2010)
~~o~~o~~o~~o~~o~~

It's funny how I read that list and still agree with everything on it. I'm not even sure I would change it in any way. 2 years ago, we were dating, going through a deployment while I was in my first year of law school. Now we are married, I am weeks from graduating and moving in with him in Colorado. We've come so far...

But the basics...those are still the same. My heart is strong (but not fonder) and boy do I need those arms around me! That will never change. Thank God for that!

Saturday Share

Glad to be back after my Saturday Share hiatus! My ankle injury and the copious amounts of homework in front of me were hindering my ability to scour the web for fabulous links to share with you. But I'm back, and I have twice as many links for you this week!

READ: 1000 Awesome Things 

(and try not to smile at every single one of them!)


LEARN: How to live, and not merely exist by Marc


DO: Volunteer in your area via Military OneSource


COOK: Ham & Cheddar Frittata (yum!)


ORGANIZE: Your meal planning & coupons in one binder via IHeartOrganizing


MAKE: A quilt out of your old t-shirts
(Perfect way to get the hubby to finally let go!)


ADD: A floating "sharebar" to your website or blog via Mashable


WATCH: This video and try not to laugh your butt off!


WIN: A $500 gift card for Old Navy stores (incl. Banana Republic, Gap and more!)

A Lovely Tune

Every single morning I wake up and I look at my phone. On that phone is a little box with a number in it, telling me how many days I have left until I am in Colorado and in Al's arms. As that day draws closer and closer, I am growing more and more anxious. 

This new song from Josh Turner pretty much sums it up...

"Time is Love" people!

"I got someone who waits, waits for me and right now [he's] where I need to be."

The Milbloggies

I am popping in briefly to mention the Milbloggie Awards. The website opened up nominations this week, so everything is still very preliminary, but I was blessed to have Jaci nominate my little corner of the blog-world.

If you would like to support my blog - or any other great blog that you'd like to support - please do so here! Either scroll through and give the "thumbs up" to any blog nominee you'd like to support OR fill out the comment form to nominate one that isn't on the list.

It is amazing that something I started as a hobby (outlet, journal, rant-station, etc...), while Al was deployed, has allowed me to make life-long friends, job-connections and given me something so important to be a part of. Many of my favorite blogs - the ones that inspired me to start - are also nominated, along with a few new ones that I can't wait to read.

Just being nominated is humbling and reminds me why this "family" really is one of the best!

Thank you for your support!

So Close

20 Days...

Until I take my last law school final

21 Days...

Until I move to Colorado to live with my husband

40 Days...

Until Graduation

I am so excited, nervous, tired, overwhelmed, delighted and about one million other emotions. My parents have been amazingly supportive since my little corner of their home looks like a disaster area. Al has been a saint as I'm sure he's received the brunt of my varying emotions. 

(A funny article about the end of law school - category #5 sounds nice! ha ha!)

It is surreal to think that this is almost over. I look back to where I started and where I am today - and remember all the steps along the way. Wow.

Now I need to pass the bar and get a job...

Survey Review

When I had my blog-a-versary giveaway, I asked y'all to participate in  a survey to tell me what I could improve on my blog. I am happy that the vast majority of you said that it was wonderful the way it is! That truly makes me happy to know that my readers enjoy my blog!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO READ MORE OF ON HEAD IN THE GAME, HEART IN THE SAND?

The rest of you had an array of interests. The good news is that I hope to incorporate all of the things I included in the survey in the upcoming months. 


{Oh, and I will be back with a Saturday Share next week!}


So, thank you for participating and for being such a loyal reader!

Adulthood and Avoiding Negative People

I've come to a realization recently: I am too darn old to surround myself with people who are negative, mean, or otherwise poisonous personalities. 

While this applies to people in general, I am finding it is a trait most commonly found in women. Prior to law school I had a very small group of female friends. In fact 75% of my friends were men. I simply get along with men better for a multitude of reasons. Certainly, my closest friends are women and always have been, but my extended circle was usually men. As I've gotten older (and married) I have more great women in my life than I do men, and ultimately, my group of friends (real, true, accountable & fun) is small.

I am OK with that. Because most people suck.

To understand more, take a look at this article. The article talks about how the majority of people are either contributors, people who contribute positively the their environment, or contaminators, people who contaminate it. When I say most people suck, I am referring to contaminators. I have found that two of the groups I am most actively involved in are chock full of contaminators: law school and the military (spouses.) 

In law school you develop friendships with a group of people pretty early on and you tend to stay connected to those people through the entire three-year process. The main reason for that is how insulated you are in law school, especially your first year. Add to that the fact that law students are high-strung, sleep-deprived, caffeinated, over-achievers who are competing (literally) for grades and jobs and it can be a toxic environment. 

Military life has its own set of problems. For one, it is a rare time where people from all over the country, from many backgrounds and life experiences, are in one group and again, often insulated from others. Mix in the difficulties of the job and lifestyle (and the roller-coaster of emotions that accompanies it) and it can be difficult to navigate those relationships. 

I recognized the effect this negativity was having on my life in the past 6 months. I would read a Facebook status and scowl, then spend 30 minutes scouring other posts, comments and past notes for more information and then spend another 1 hour stewing over the whole thing internally. This particular example is someone I've never even met in real life - and her complaining had affected almost TWO HOURS of my day. Cutting out that type of negativity was pretty easy, I went through Facebook and promptly deleted anyone that I didn't know (or didn't like) and did the same thing with a few blogs.

It is a lot harder, however, to cut out real-life friends when they start contaminating your environment. For one, many times these friends have contributed some positive things to your friendship. It can also be hard when you are in contact with that person for uncontrollable reasons (i.e. you work together, attend classes together, have mutual friends or your husband's are in the same unit.) 

My feelings on this really came to a head last night. I was supposed to meet a large group of ladies out for cocktails after class. My close friends were among them, but the vast majority were mere acquaintances. I ended up not attending, mostly because my foot was sore and I had a lot of homework. As I drove home, I started feeling guilty.
And then it hit me. I didn't want to be there. I had no desire to hang out with those girls (with the exception of a few) and I had no reason to feel guilty. I made a decision to go home, be relaxed and productive rather than have a few cocktails with people I don't know or like. Why would I ever feel bad about that?  My "epiphany" led me to think more about how I should choose my friends - if I don't enjoy them, if they're not contributors - then they are not really worth my time. 

Now, in order to fully purge negative people from my life, I have to be brutally honest. I am a negative person, sometimes. I have bad days. I complain. I gossip. I am even mean on occasion. I have to recognize that if I truly want to address this matter head-on. I have to commit to change my own negative tendencies - after all, if I act in a negative way, then I am just poisoning the people around me. The people I actually care about.

So, for this to truly matter in my life, I have to make sure that, as much as possible, I am a contributor. And then surround myself with contributors whenever I can. 
'Cause those contaminators just ain't worth my time! :)

Washington D.C. Recap

We got up early on Friday morning and flew to D.C. We arrived around lunch time and checked into our hotel before hitting the city to check out the capitol and the Supreme Court building. That night was the Welcome Dinner at AU Washington College of Law. It was great to meet the other schools with competitors and hear the speakers who started the program.

Saturday was the first day of competition and both of out students did very well. Mainesha actually did extremely well and made it to the semi-finals, which is saying an awful lot since so many students were excellent! On Sunday, she competed in the semi-final round and again did well. She hadn't been feeling well and did not make it to the finals, but again the competition was fierce. I was so proud of both of them for their hard work and courage! 

Sunday, we spent the rest of the day running around the city checking out the sites and monuments. David insisted we stop at a place called Ben's Chili Bowl, which has "the best chili dogs in D.C." According to a sign on the door: "People who eat free: President Obama & Family and Bill Cosby. And no one else!" Let's just say that even though I had to pay for it, it was delicious! David was so happy to find it - actually, he was basically beaming the whole weekend. He had never been outside of Minnesota so everything from the airplane to the subway to the gas prices were a brand new experience and he had his camera going the entire time. 

All in all, it was a great weekend and even though I was exhausted and I hurt my foot, I had a wonderful time. The students were excellent, my co-coach was a great buddy and travel companion and, well, D.C. is always a fun place to be! 

Now it's back to the grind. Less than 30 days to go!

And now for some pictures...

The Capitol

China Town

MLK Memorial (Brand new!)

I got to meet up for lunch with Reina - We had so much fun!

Supreme Court

Ben's Chili Bowl - the best chili dog in the city! Even the President says so!

Tuesday: TriCare and Tendonitis

I am compiling all my photos from my D.C. trip to share with y'all, but first I wanted to tell you about my day yesterday. After a long day Saturday, I took a barefoot step in my hotel room, which sent pain shooting through my right foot. This was a normal step, mind you. I didn't hit my foot on anything, I didn't step funny, and I even wore sensible shoes when we were walking around outside or in the subway.

When I woke up Sunday morning, the pain was worse, so I put on tennis shoes (with my nice courthouse outfit) and proceeded through my day. We ended up walking around the mall as well, so it was a long day on my feet. I sat down as much as possible, but if you know anything about D.C. it's not really a "sitting" kind of town. 

We flew home Sunday night, I iced my foot, took some ibuprofen and went to bed. Monday, I had another long day at school, on my feet (but still in comfortable tennis shoes), and by the end of the day, my foot looked like this: 

 So, on Tuesday morning, I called TriCare. I couldn't remember who my PCM (primary care manager) was and knew that in order to go to Urgent Care, I would need a referral from my PCM. TriCare was delightfully and surprisingly helpful! I have heard many-a horror story about TriCare and their customer service but not only were they sympathetic to my situation, they were instantly helpful. 

You see, the PCM on record was in fact an Urgent Care doctor - which presents an obvious dilemma. So, I needed to change my PCM, but couldn't wait to see a doctor for my foot. The TriCare rep put an authorization on file for me to go to Urgent Care (like a fill-in referral) and told me to just call and change my PCM as soon as I could. 

I went to the Urgent Care clinic, waited less than 10 minutes, got 3 x-rays and discovered that I have tendonitis in my right foot. Basically, I hyper-extended my tendon which caused the bruising and swelling. Of course, there is really nothing the doctor can do for tendonitis, so I was prescribed an ankle brace, ibuprofen for the pain and ice and elevation whenever swelling occurs. Oh, and I'm supposed to "take it easy." 

Which I have all the time in the world for...

12 in 2012: Month in Review

I cannot believe it's already April! I move to Colorado in less than a month - so exciting! That means 29 days stand between me and my husband. Well, 29 days, 1.5 papers, 1 take-home exam and 2 final exams as well as 1000 miles stand between us. 

In the meantime, let's look back over my 12 in 2012 goals for the month of March:


1. Speak up.

I spent the better part of the month writing my long paper, which meant I had to cancel social engagements quite regularly. The biggest challenge is not feeling guilty for making the decision, now that I'm better able to make it in the first place.

2. Spend less.

I did some shopping this month, focusing on professional basics and versatile items for work and everyday wear. Check out my fashion blog for the specifics of this goal and my fashion budget tracker.

3. Spread the Love.

OK...I had big plans for this one during March, but I was so swamped with school that it just never came to be. I did send a friend a card for her birthday and did something special for my Grandma, but I have a lot of ideas percolating for this goal.

4. Snap it.

I traveled a bit this month, so I should be able to catch up my picture deficit currently in my album on Facebook. 

5. Spice it Up.

No new recipes this month - I've been doing so much eating-on-the-go!

6. Sweat.

This is so not happening. At least not until I move. I just can't fit the gym into my life (and right now, sleep and other basics are just more important.)

7. Stamp It.

Still on hold until May or June.

8. See the Sights.

I actually traveled to D.C. this month, so I got to explore a lot there. As for exploring my home surroundings, I am still lacking there. I could remind you that I've been busy, but I think you get the point.

9. Style it.

I did a fun challenge where I only wore skirts and dresses for a whole week. Follow my fashion blog, to see that journey. Find my fashion inspiration here.

10. Save space.

I will be doing  huge purge this coming month as I prepare for the move. That includes an inventory of my closet and going through my storage locker so I keep only the things we need or will use. I can't wait to get my things narrowed down so I can go on an organization spree when I get to Colorado.

11. Slow down.  and 12. Sleep more.

This month was exactly the opposite of slow and relaxing. I don't see that changing much through April, but hopefully I can at least focus on the sleep part.