When I sought out guest bloggers for my time away, this lady came forward immediately. I was so excited, because I have only recently started following her and was excited to hear what she had to say. I was not disappointed!
A Girl is a 20 something blogger who began blogging in 2008 as a means of coping with a deployment. She is a Veterinary Technician by trade and loves her work in Emergency and Critical Care. She is married to a 10 year veteran of the USMC reserves, whom she meet shortly after he returned from a deployment. They have been married for four years, have three, very bratty dogs, and are currently trying to muddle through the aftermath of a difficult deployment for both.
You can read her blog, A Boy, A Girl and the Marine Corps: A love triangle at Aboyagirlandthemarinecorps.blogspot.com, via her FB page http://www.facebook.com/ABoyAGirlandtheMarineCorps or on Twitter @BoyGirlUSMC
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De-Stressing is
Stressful!
Just me?
Finding
time to myself, let alone time that doesn’t feel stressful is a huge challenge
in my life. I work a stressful job, I
have three crazy dogs (two of which are puppies only 6 months apart in age), I
have family obligations, and, recently, have lost a number of loved ones due to
age and illness. The very idea of taking
a small break in my day to read a book, take a bubble bath, or even just to
watch a little TV throws my over active, unable to slow down, mind into
overdrive of how to appropriately SCHEDULE said time.
I’m
here to tell you, after years of working in an ER, marriage, dogs, family,
deployments, and life in general, that that is 100% the absolutely WRONG way to
look at things.
When
I was going to school, and after I graduated and was studying for my boards, I
had a very simple way of relieving the stress.
I set goals and rewards. If I
studied X number of hours, or finished this chapter of my review book, I got a
prize, a piece candy, a movie, some TV time, or even just a walk in the
park. But when I was done and went out
into the real world, got a job, two more dogs, and life moved forward, it was
harder and harder to have tangible goals in my day, let alone a reward for
meeting them. I get busy, I can’t
justify time for a bath when there is so much to do. I get stressed, I get overwhelmed and then,
suddenly, I’ve been sitting on my couch doing nothing for three hours and
haven’t even realized that I still haven’t finished what I started on the
computer (ex: this post LOL!)
So
what do I do? It’s really so simple that
I feel ridiculous that I haven’t thought of it before. Why I wasn’t’ doing this 3 years ago, I have
no idea.
I
just don’t do anything. No, I haven’t
walked out on my responsibilities. The
house payment still has to be paid, the dogs must be walked, and my job doesn’t
really accept, “I just don’t want to come into work today” as a valid reason to
call in. But when I find that the
laundry needs to be folded and there are dishes in the sink, but I’d rather
watch TV, I watch TV, if only for 30 minutes.
If I want to sip a cup of tea while staring out of the window for 5
minutes before I start moving forward with my morning, that’s what I do (most
of the time, as long as I’m not running late).
The
key I have found is that I CANNOT be everything to everyone all the time. And that is what we want, it’s what we tell
ourselves we should be. “I am
superwoman. I can take on the world and
still be home in time to cook dinner.”
And maybe you can, some of the time. But if you are like me, you can’t
be that person all of the time. I find
that I am no good to my family, or my job, if I’m not taking care of me while
I’m busy taking care of everyone else.
So,
I try to read a book sometimes. Granted
it can take me a month to read one, but I do it. I try to savor my coffee, and find time to
just pet my dogs. Even when the world
feels like it’s spinning faster than I can keep up with, I have to make time to
do something that is just for me, just for a minute.
I
have also begun setting goals again. I
registered for the Tough Mudder this year and have dedicated certain days of
the week to train. I don’t always train for
a long period of time, but I am making the effort to make this goal happen and
finding peace of mind in the mean time.
Running is a great way to be too tired at the end of your day to care
about your stress.
It’s
not about scheduling time to
relax. I hate the phrase, “making time
to relax.” That makes it feel more stressful to me. It’s about taking time to savor the things
you love, even if just for 5 minutes.
Look out your window at the sunset tonight, take 30 minutes to watch
your favorite TV instead of doing the dishes.
Grab that cup of tea with a friend just because, or add 10 minutes onto
your dogs morning walk to just enjoy the air.
Quality over quantity. Enjoy the
things you do, find a few extra minutes to do something you love that is just
for you… I like to keep a few pieces of candy hidden in my nightstand so that I
can enjoy a few after a rough shift at work.
And if I’m facing something that I just don’t want to do, that can wait,
then it can wait for a little longer, because sometimes, you just need to have
a moment to do nothing important.
Includes:
