This One Goes Out to the One I Love

(**Note: I cannot and will not take complete credit for this idea - my new blogger friend Amber has formatted her blog as a letter to her overseas hubby. Just this once, I am doing the same. Oh, and sappiness alert!)

Hey baby,

I am about to go to bed after a very long day at school. Over there, you are already up and starting your day. Even though you feel so far away, I have never felt so close.

Each night, I am harshly aware of how large my queen bed feels when I'm the only one in it. Plus, it's really difficult to steal the covers from myself. I cannot wait until you return so I can steal them from you instead. As I get ready to fall asleep, wearing your old Army PT shirt, a few things come to mind that I simply need to share.

I am proud of you. Of your work, your character and your continued & unfailing dedication to your country. I am proud to be your girlfriend, your support and your inspiration.

I am impressed by your resilience and everlasting patience (especially with me.)

You never fail to make me laugh or to remind me to relax and have a little fun. You encourage my dreams and help me reach my goals on a daily basis and you constantly kick me in the pants when I get lazy and tired.

I can't wait for your return. I want to travel to new places, preferably warm and try new things, mostly new food. I want to go mudding on the four-wheelers and shooting at the range. I want to get dressed up for fancy dinners and cocktails (yes, that includes a tie and matching your shoes to your belt.) I want to stay up all night, wrapped up in each other, covered in sweat and tears of laughter. Mostly though, I just want you here; to share my morning coffee, the remote control and even the bed covers (I promise I'll try.)

Thank you for being a good boyfriend and a great man. You're my best friend and the love of my life. I miss you. I love you.

Hurry home and remember, I got your six, always.

Melissa

Spring!

It has been an absolutely beautiful spring in Minnesota. We made it through the month of March without a single flake of snow. The last time there was no snow in March was 1878, although some records say it has never happened. Either way, it's been wonderful.

I pulled the plastic off the windows and actually got some air blowing through my apartment this morning. I've started running outside instead of at the gym. I get to wear sandals and skirts and use a cardigan or light jacket. The bulky coats have been put away until fall.

It's officially spring and I couldn't be happier.

What's your favorite thing about spring?

Answer the monthly TPQ here.

Scheduling

As I mentioned before, I am very close to the end of my first year of law school. I am getting more excited day-by-day and looking forward to my free-time. Before I can enjoy it, however, I have two weeks of classes and four finals to get through.

This is my calendar through April

This is my calendar in May, after finals.

It's not entirely accurate because I will be working and taking a class or two this summer, but I certainly won't have the loaded calendar I've had the past two semesters. I'm really not sure what I'm going to do with all that blue-space on the calendar.

I can only hope that I am able to relax enough to truly enjoy it.

Shameless Plugs Ahead

My heart is full today. In a good way. For the first time in a few weeks, I am happy.

I feel a little more in control than I have been.

I am ready to get up in the mornings and join the world.

This is a huge improvement.

I am looking forward to this feeling lasting as long as possible.

Since I've been feeling so much better, I figured I'd give a shout out to a couple of important people in my life. Pay it forward, so-to-speak.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I saw Home Free in concert last night. They are on their spring tour and I brought a friend with me to see them.

The concert was fantastic. They sounded great and performed very well.

Not only are they great friends of mine, they are talented as hell!

Check out their website and songs and be sure to go see them if they come to your area.

And if you want a good laugh, as we all do. Check out this video - "How Nice I Really Am", based on one of their original songs about a stalker. The girl in the video is my best friend for many years; check her out here.

If that doesn't make you happy, nothing will.

Army Wives

The new season (season 4) premiers tonight at 7. I will not be watching. But only because I don't have cable. I am forced to wait until Lifetime.com releases the episodes on Monday nights.

I love this show. Not because I'm naive enough to believe that it's realistic. Not because it ALWAYS gives me a good cry. Not even because there are good looking men in camo.

I love this show because it makes me feel at home.

Even in it's Hollywood-ized, no-grip-on-reality glory, it still reminds me that there are hundreds of women out there struggling with the same things I am. It reminds me that it might be a sucky life, but it's an amazingly beautiful one too!

Al rolls his eyes at me every time I watch this show, Kleenex box in hand. He'll never admit that he likes the show, but he has seen it. He scoffs and laughs and regularly tells me how stupid it is. But I don't care; I love it.

Not as much as I love him. And it's nothing compared to real Army life (although I've never had the luxury of living on a post and having a Army family).

The reality of my life is becoming more and more clear. If this is the life Al wants to have, I will continue to support and love him. I will whole-heartedly embrace that lifestyle. And I will make a damn good Army wife. The farther we get through this deployment and through his Army career, the less I want this forever. I am proud. I am patriotic. But I want to have a career and a family and I don't want my whole life dictated by a military.

I am on board with whatever life I am blessed enough to have. I am so happy to have the relationship that I do and I am equally proud of him and all he does. I know that whatever life we choose together, it will be a good one whether the Army is a part of it or not.

In the meantime, I will live vicariously through the sappy, comedic and unbearably addictive Lifetime show.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

I am a month away from the end of my first year of law school. I am two weeks from the end of classes. I am almost one-third done with my degree.

All that's standing in the way of enjoying my free-time is a motion memorandum paper, 4 finals and an oral argument. No big deal.

It's exciting. Terrifying. Nerve-racking. Refreshing.

So, in order to inspire myself to get through these next few weeks and on to the next step, I have compiled a list of fun, free-time, summer things I want to do:

(I will revisit these before I head back to school to see how I do)

Read 20 books on my reading list

Sew pillow cases for bedroom

Make one new meal each week

Re-organize closet, shoes & accessories

Have one Lia Sophia show each week

Cover ottoman with new fabric

Paint & stain bookshelves & side table

Clean & detail the Saturn

Organize & put-away 1st semester papers

Plant new tree in pot

Full spring cleaning of apartment

Go through photos, frames and put on the wall

Single

This word has been a major contention in recent conversations with Al.

The conversation started after recalling a ladies' night to him over the phone. I mentioned a silly comment a girlfriend of mine made where she basically said I had to dance to "All the Single Ladies" with them because, well, "he hadn't put a ring on it" yet.

Al didn't find this funny. He is, by far, the least jealous person I know. He is also understanding of the fact that I want to have a good time, rather then sit at home watching the clock until he comes home. Still, I know how hard it must be for him to think of me out dancing, drinking and hanging out with friends when he's thousands of miles away.

(Thank you, baby, for your continued patience and trust.)

I'm not single. I certainly don't act like I am, nor do I want to.

Nevertheless, legally I am considered single.

When filling out tax forms, any documents at school and really anything else that asks for a marital status, I select the "single" option. It sucks every time I do. Even more, I know that until Al and I are married, I am virtually non-existent as far as the Army is concerned. Sure, there are steps that can (and have, in our case) be taken to ensure that I am properly notified and "taken care of" should anything terrible happen. However, I am just not afforded the same recognition as an Army wife is.

Considering these factors, and the increase in pay, housing, health care, etc...that the military provides for servicemen and their families it is no wonder that many couples marry prior to deployments. Getting those legal and financial benefits is a huge privilege and certainly makes life a little easier. We chose not to do that. We didn't want our time line to be dictated by anything other than our own feelings and our own ideas. As a result, we are in our current situation.

Really though, I don't mind.

Someday in the near future I'll have a ring on my finger and I'll have the recognition of society and Army that I am no longer "single." Nothing will be different in my heart or in my head. The commitment doesn't change. The love doesn't either.

Baby, with or without the title, the legal recognition, or the ring I am still continuously devoted and committed to you. None of those things make that more true. And even if the Army doesn't know it, I am fully and entirely supportive of you and everything you do.

I love you.

(Now if this isn't a reason to comment on my blog...)

Baseball Season Begins!

I love baseball. I was 18 months when I went to my first game. It was in the Metrodome (a moment of silence, please.) I was 3 when I had my picture taken with Kirby Puckett on family day. I could tell you the entire line-up of the Minnesota Twins before I pronounced my own name properly. Pucket, Gaetti, Gagne, Herbeck...All the World Series stars. They were my friends, I knew them personally.

At 19, I met Tony Olivia, courtesy of a first-date. Tony O. delivered our tickets personally and proceeded to sign and take pictures with us. We watched the game from 4th row behind home plate.

At 23, at Twins v. Red Sox, Johan Santana pitched a ball to David Ortiz. Big Papa smacked it down the left-field foul line and it bounced into the stands. He ran it for an easy double. That "bounce" landed right in my hands (to be fair, a friend caught it for me, but it still counts!) It also happened to be my birthday.

This year is a historical marker for the Minnesota Twins. Outdoor baseball has arrived in Minneapolis and I couldn't be happier. There is nothing greater than a hot dog, cold beer and a baseball game on real grass under real sky. It's American. Today, as baseball season kicks off around the country, I have high hopes for Twins baseball. And with that, an emphatic, "We're gonna win, Twins!"

Easter Reflections

I grew up in a fairly religious household. I was baptized in a Lutheran church. (Hey, it's Minnesota and I'm predominantly Norwegian.) I went through Confirmation and I received my engraved bible in 4th grade. As a teen, I went to summer bible camp and attended church on Sundays and youth group on Wednesdays at an Assemblies of God church.

During my Junior year of high school, I walked away from my church. Without making any unnecessary accusations or negative remarks, my leaving had a lot to do with the youth leaders and my friends in the church. I couldn't be involved with a group of people who I felt didn't live like the Christians they claimed to be. So I made the difficult decision to walk away.

I spent most of college deciding what was important to me religiously, spiritually, etc... I came to the realization that my relationship with God was between me and Him. I can be a good person, live a good Christian life, and have my "religious" practices be on my terms and behind closed doors. Having someone in a church tell me his interpretation is fine, but it's not the only answer.

There's a book, Velvet Elvis by Pastor Rob Bell. In his book, he discusses the fact that we should question our faith everyday; that it's OK to read, learn, discover our religion and others around the world; it's OK to constantly ask for answers and not simply go on "faith" alone. I recently started going to church again. It's a nice little Methodist church near my parents. The pastor (who's a woman!) gave me the book when I expressed my hesitation about starting another path towards a church membership.

Tomorrow is Easter which, according to the bible, is the day that Jesus rose again and returned to Heaven. I think it's so much more. Take it to relax, to love, to laugh and to reflect and who you are and what you believe. Whatever it is, Happy Easter!

Monthly Thought-Provoking Question: April 2010

April Fools, everybody. We've been blessed with gorgeous weather to welcome in the new month, which happens to be the inspiration for this month's TPQ!

What is your favorite thing about Spring? Least favorite?

Please participate!