The Fever: TMI Alert

I have the fever.

I'm not talking allergies, sickness or the John Travolta persuasion.

I'm talking the tiny toes, small clothes and little nose variety.

Yes. Babies.

I've wanted to be a mother since the day I was born (OK, it was probably more like when I was 5 and my sister rolled around and I realize how "cool" babies were.) Once I found my wonderful husband, realized he also wanted kids and embarked on our forever together, the spark turned into a burning desire to have children.

Of course, there were two primary obstacles before there was any realistic hope of getting pregnant: the long-distance thing and my schooling. Now that we've spent a summer together, making our marriage the priority, we can check the first one off the list. As for school, I have 9 months left. Hmm...what else takes 9 months?

Well, it takes 10-ish months, plus time to actually "make babies" (or what Al calls, the fun part.) But regardless of the math-factor, it still adds up to be a pretty do-able calendar. Obviously, we can't actually do the "fun part" until October when I visit him, or Christmas when he's home for a bit, and even that's banking on the fact that we would have an easy go at it.

I know my mother's history and that miscarriages can be hereditary. I also know so many beloved women that have had one hell of a time dealing with infertility and other pregnancy struggles. I am heart-broken for them. And I'm realistic that it could happen that way for me too.

But now we're on a timeline that works for us (sort of - if we did get pregnant immediately, it would deliver after graduation, but it could fall sometime in the moving to Colorado, taking the bar, looking for a job mess - but everyone says there is no "perfect time" so I'm not really going to hold out for one.) We are also financially stable and can afford to have a child at this time. So, I guess the time is now?

I've stopped smoking. I stopped taking the pill so I can regulate my cycle. I am taking a women's multi-vitamin including folic acid and other necessary pre-natals. Al is also working on quitting smoking and we're both focusing on staying in shape and eating healthy. And, like any true type-A woman, I am reading a lot of books, blogs, magazines and other sources on pregnancy.

We won't be "actively trying" to conceive. I won't be mapping out my fertility or my cycles.

But we are not preventing it either. Al says we're "letting the baby cards fall as they may."

Or - as a dear friends' boyfriend called it - we're taking the goalie out of the game.

And if we're lucky (or blessed) then perhaps we can actually score a goal.

(OK, that analogy kind of sucks!)