Continuing the pursuit of happiness

In January, I forced myself to admit a my feelings of inadequacy, monotony, and overall unhappiness with my life. Perhaps I was overreacting. I was certainly highly emotional. Yet, at the time, it was true and it was how I was feeling. And after putting those words on paper, seeing them in black-and-white, and talking them out with Al, I was forced to make a change. 

One of those changes is re-evaluating my goals and the things that make me happy. 

I've spent my entire life focusing on my career. I've invested time, a ridiculous amount of money, many sleepless nights, and even more tears, in pursuing my education and starting my career. I always believed that a large part of my identity, my heart, and my happiness was based on my education and work.

This week, however, I was faced with a big decision. Continue on my current path, pursuing a job only partially related to my field, that I only sort-of love, with higher pay and great opportunity - or, walk away and take an attorney job for less pay simply because it's what I really love to do.

Everyone I know would say to follow your dreams. I always told myself that if I didn't love what I do, it isn't worth doing. And while that may seem like an easy decision to some, it really isn't. After all, my passion and career options aren't the only considerations...

My current job allows for more flexibility (and more money) for starting a family. It is also keying me in to many networking groups and volunteer opportunities. And if I truly give it everything I've got, I can use it as a way to propel me into starting my own law practice down the road. (Say, when our debts are paid down and we've started our family.)

I also have to consider that Al wants to transition out the Army (at least active duty) and pursue his own career. He wants to start a business and finish his degree. And in order to support that transition, I need to be the primary bread-winner. I need to financially support our household when we leave military life behind for "the real world." 

So I reached the fork in the road and for a brief moment the hustle of the world slowed and my choice was clear. With teary eyes, I told Al, "I need to stick with my current path. It's hard to remember that while this job might not be my first choice or my whole passion, supporting our family is."

My priorities have changed and that just might be okay.