Last weekend, Al approached me with his head down and informed me he lost my anniversary gift. He purchased it in Las Vegas and had been holding on to it for the occasion. He had wrapped it in his clothes in his luggage, but never emptied it when he got back. When it went through his bags to find it, they were gone.
I had to laugh. It is not a big deal.
In fact, I assumed we'd grab dinner somewhere and be in bed by 10:30. And I was perfectly happy with that scenario. I certainly didn't expect a gift (and, in all honesty, I had no intention on getting one for him - unless a coupon for "naughty time" counts!) We're both perfectly happy just spending the evening together, you know, 'cause we are in the same state and actually can spend it together.
Even still, I knew he felt bad. (Probably in part because of this Christmas when he sort-of forgot we agreed to exchange gifts.) I assured him that it was not a big deal and he certainly shouldn't rush out and replace it (as he offered to do.) Ultimately, I figure it will turn up someday and even if it doesn't, we have another good memory to share with our kids.
"Remember that time dad lost your anniversary present?"
In a non-cliche and completely honest way: it is the thought behind the gift and time spent putting it together that counts.
So why do we put such an emphasis on gifts in the first place?
Doesn't that take the joy out of both giving and receiving them?
If I want to buy him something, I will. And I don't need reciprocation, unless he wants to as well. And if he gets me a gift, or flowers, or even just picks up my favorite pint of ice cream on his way home one day, I'll be thrilled. I will kiss him, thank him, and be happy he thought enough about me to do that. I appreciate those gestures when they occur. I appreciate the gifts when they come. I certainly don't need them (or expect them) - SO, it's time we stop making gifts the focus of these important milestones.
Honey, if you're reading this, know this: an evening with you is all I need this year. And if you really want to make it special, you could always wear a tie. I'm printing off your coupon right now!
4 comments:
Ah, poor Al, he probably feels terrible about losing your gift. :( I like out of the blue gifts, too. I mean I'd never, ever say no to a Christmas, anniversary, or birthday gift from OccDoc, but bringing home a pint of ice cream - oh man - that is true LOVE. He never got the hang of flowers, which would probably be better on our waistlines, but whatever. Have a lovely anniversary! You guys deserve it!
I'm bigger on gifts than I should be, but I think it's because it signifies the thought, like you said. Because of distance and pay issues, Sky and I couldn't get each other anything, but he wrote me a love letter (email?)-rare for him- and it was the best present.
DH and I usually establish before hand that we wont give each other gift on our anniversary. However, I lie and still get him something :) However, my plan backfires, because he feels bad he didn't get me anything. I tell him I dont care, last time I checked its not about the gifts.
We have a funny tradition, every anniversary we eat at a fast food joint. Silly tradition, but its something we have stuck to :)
Sweet. :)
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